Used to Be
by ladyhades
Summary: Fate has never really been good with change, especially where her family is concerned. Post StrikerS. NanoFate.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: After lurking in this fandom for far too long, I've decided to have some fun. _

_NanoFate, so hey, if that's not your thing, this is the wrong place to be. _

_Love it, hate it, let me know._

_All usual disclaimers apply. I do not own the characters. I just wanted to poke at them for a bit._

* * *

_**Used to be**_

Sometimes it takes a lifetime to get what you need, and sometimes, Fate ruminated, leaning back in a beaten armchair as she loosened her tie, sometimes a lifetime just wasn't enough.

The invitation lay open on her lap, and no matter how many times she read it, the words remained the same.

_You are cordially invited…_

_Nope._

She squeezed russet eyes closed, but the gold-leaf writing persisted, burned into her mind. Twenty years of wishing hoping longing and here she was, _cordially invited. _

"_Sir, incoming call."_

Her gaze swept her spartan apartment, void of decorations or touches of style, save for a few small framed photographs. Fate had been on her own for two years now, and had used the space as a place to crash between missions, and nothing more. Sitting here, alone in the fading daylight, she wondered why she bothered to come home at all sometimes.

"Tell them I died." Fate muttered quietly.

"_Sir?" _Bardiche intoned mechanically.

"Ahh," the blonde sighed wearily, massaging her temples. "Never mind. Put it through."

A vid screen blipped to life in front of her, and she was greeted by the bright face of her sixteen year old goddaughter. "Fate-mama!"

Fate's lips quirked up into a grin despite her bad mood, and she gave a slight wave. "Hey sweetie."

Vivio arched a brow, leaning closer to the screen. "Wow, Mama, you look like shit."

"Whoa, language!" the enforcer sputtered, caught off guard. "Don't let Nanoha-mama hear you talking like that!"

The teenager shrugged, unperturbed. "She's running around like crazy anyway. I could probably take off for a week and she wouldn't even notice."

"Ah, come on, you know that's not true." Fate replied gently. "You know how she is when she's stressed."

Vivio hummed lightly in acknowledgement, absently twirling a blonde lock of hair around her finger. "How was your mission?"

_Not long enough._

Fate could feel a headache settling just behind her eyes. "Everything went smoothly. With the new enforcers on the team, I barely had to lift a finger."

Vivio pursed her lips, and Fate had spent enough time in the field to know what was coming next. Interrogations were quickly becoming her specialty, and she had been a fast learner when it came to the art of reading people.

"Did you get your mail?"

The enforcer dropped her gaze to her lap.

_Cordially._

"I did."

Bright eyes blinked at her hopefully, and the smile flashed at her over the screen was dazzling. "Are you going to go?"

Fate bit back a groan. Cute weapons of mass destruction. Wonderful. "Depends on my deployment." she replied easily enough, and she supposed it was true.

"Mama…" Vivio sighed, brows furrowing. "I'm sure they'd give you off! And besides, Nanoha-mama would be sad if you didn't go…"

_And Yunno would cheer her up._

"I know." the captain replied warily. "We'll see."

"Vivio!" a voice called just off-screen, and the enforcer felt her heart somersault. How long had it been since she had seen Nanoha last? Weeks? _Months? _

"In here!" the teenager called, waving her hand. Fate swallowed hard as Nanoha's image joined her daughter's, and she had to remind herself to breathe.

"Fate-chan!" Nanoha beamed. "I didn't know you were coming back so soon!"

"Just got home."

Immediately brows knitted together, and slate blue eyes reflected concern. "You don't look so good. You haven't been sleeping well, have you?"

"So I've been told." Fate responded dryly, causing Vivio to bite back a laugh.

"Make sure you stop by headquarters then and see Shamal." The instructor replied. "You know we worry."

Fate felt her hands clench into fists, and she willed herself to relax. She was being selfish and stupid, and the only thing she was accomplishing right now was managing to single handedly drop herself into depression. She felt herself nod in agreement, and wished she were still out in the field.

"Oh!" Nanoha exclaimed, "Did you get your mail?"

Well. Forget selfish and stupid. If she were alone, she would have cried.

"She did." Vivio answered for her. "She doesn't want to go."

"What?"

Panic set in, and the enforcer waved her hands defensively. "That's…that's not what I…"

"She said she has to work." Vivio supplied not so helpfully, her tone betraying her innocence.

"I'll take care of _that._" Nanoha declared hotly, crossing her arms.

Fate could only sit there, dumbfounded, her gaze bouncing back and forth between the two women who had become her family.

_Not yours anymore._

"I…I…"

"Nanoha?" a male voice inquired. "We're going to be late!"

"We're in here!" the instructor called out, and the smile on her face twisted an uncomfortable knot up into Fate's throat.

_Oh come on…_

"Hey." Fate cut in quickly, certainly not liking where this was headed. "I have a debriefing, and I've got to get out of here. I'll call you guys later?"

Identical pouts graced the features of both Vivio and Nanoha, and had she not been having the most _fantastic _day of her life, Fate might have laughed.

"Forget calling." Nanoha scolded lightly. "You better come visit. I haven't seen you in forever."

Burgundy eyes softened. All this time apart, and she _still _caved to the brunette's wishes. Despite her better judgment, and the vehement whispers in the back of her mind, she nodded. "I will."

"Love you!" Vivio sang out brightly.

"Love you both." Fate replied automatically, a habit leftover from the calls home she would make when Vivio was still a little girl. She held her shaky smile until the call disconnected, and immediately slumped down into her chair, burying her face into her hands.

After the JS Incident ten years ago, Fate's missions had picked up in frequency and duration. There had seemed to be a never-ending influx of new enforcers, and TSAB had been anxious to get more soldiers out into the field, to prevent such incidents from occurring again. Fate had been dispatched around the universe and back again, weeks turning into months, and then years. Vivio had grown up in the blink of an eye, and she and Nanoha had seemingly grown apart. Her visits home dwindled down to a scant few a year, and she had begun to feel like a stranger in her own house. Things were moved, rearranged. New furniture, new cars, it was always different each time, and she was never sure what she was going to find.

Two years ago, after nearly getting herself killed, still sporting bandages from a vicious fight she almost hadn't walked away from, she had come home to find Yunno sleeping on her side of the bed at three in the morning.

She could remember each detail perfectly, standing there in the open doorway, hand clenched around the knob so tight her fingers _ached. _She had blinked slowly, as though if she looked long enough, it would prove to be a mirage and fade away.

And then Nanoha had emerged from the bathroom, wearing an old shirt and little else, and her heart had seized in her chest.

She knew then, at that exact moment, that she was completely, totally, irrevocably, and madly in love with Nanoha Takamachi. Blue eyes had widened at the enforcer's presence in the doorway, and suddenly Fate knew what it was like to gain and lose _everything _in a single heartbeat.

And there it was, finally, a name for the feelings she had harbored for so many years.

They had stared at each other wordlessly across the room, emotions bouncing between hurt, confusion, and, worst of all, _anger_. The enforcer could feel her gut burning hot and sharp, and as the man on the bed rolled over, the feeling was replicated in her eyes. She couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't _breathe. _When Nanoha took a tentative step forward, Fate snapped to, and her heart began to beat once more. It was there, in that doorway, that she realized that she had been replaced. Five months away from home. Five months of constant enemy bombardments, endless assaults, and piles of bodies. Five months of curling up in the dark, silently praying she could get home soon to see her family, five months of fighting to just keep them _safe,_ and it ended like this.

Replaced.

Fate had nodded slowly, picked up the duffel bag she had dropped at her feet, and disappeared into the night.

_A lovers' quarrel?_

_No. They'd have to be lovers first._

Less than three days later, she had her own apartment, despite Nanoha's pleading and Vivio's tears.

And now?

Now she was _cordially invited, _and nothing would be better than to watch someone else take her family away from her in a beautifully decorated venue, while everyone she ever cared about _applauded…_

"_Sir?" _Bardiche questioned, cutting through her dark musings. "_You have a visitor."_

Fate scowled. Of course she did. Her day could only keep improving. "Open the door." she replied tiredly. "Whoever it is will get over my bad manners, I'm sure."

"_Fate-chaaaaan_!" a feminine voice sang out cheerily as electric locks disengaged. "A little birdie told me you were home!"

"In the living room." Fate called back, propping her feet up on a worn footstool and flinging the horrid invitation across the room. How did that go, out of sight, out of mind?

She knew better, but it was nice to pretend.

As footsteps approached from down the hall, the captain gave a flippant wave of her hand. "Should have known it would be you. Make yourself at home."

"Always do." Hayate chirped, poking her head into the room. "I hear you have a debriefing?"

"What, tapping my calls again?" the enforcer replied lightly.

"No, I just have a good informant." The commander grinned. "Now, I know for a fact that you have no such debriefing."

Fate sighed wearily. "I'm just having a long day."

The corner of Hayate's mouth twitched. "Did you get your mail?"

The blonde gave her a long, even stare.

"Thought so." The brunette sighed, whipping a large bottle of amber colored liquor out from behind her back. "That's why I brought reinforcements!"

Fate regarded one of her oldest friends for a moment, gaze softening as her features broke out into wide grin. "Hayate, I think I love you."

"Oh, don't tease me like that Fate-chan!" Hayate cooed playfully, batting her eyelashes. "I just might succumb to your charms!"

"Right."

"Now, now," she replied, approaching the chair and tugging at Fate's arm. "get off your cranky ass, get some glasses, and put on some depressing music! We need to drown our sorrows!"

Fate quirked a brow. "Our?"

"Did I stutter?"

The captain snorted and rose to her feet, bringing her hand to her temple in a sharp salute. "No ma'am."

"Very good." Hayate sighed, waving her hand dismissively. "Hurry up. I want to get drunk."

Half a bottle later, the women were slumped across Fate's couch. Hayate had made herself comfortable at a far end, pressed up against the armrest, and had draped her legs across the blonde's lap. The enforcer, meanwhile, showed no signs of slowing down, and dark angry eyes were working on burning a hole in the wall on the opposite side of the room. One hand clenched her glass, and the other, much to Hayate's delight, was delivering a very thorough massage to the limbs sprawled in her lap. How Nanoha could willingly give this up, she would honestly never know. She could remember when this hot mess started…

* * *

_Fate felt like she hadn't slept in years, and maybe she hadn't. Time had no meaning anymore, and to be frank, she wasn't even sure what day it was. For someone who always was as composed and in control as she was, it was just another sign of terrible things to come. Teana approached her desk cautiously, and gently pushed a cup of coffee towards the enforcer. She had yet to say a word, and had left the blinds pulled shut, both gestures that left Fate feeling extremely grateful. She gave a nod in thanks, prying a hand away from bloodshot eyes and wrapping numb figures around the mug. _

_The door to her office slammed open, banging against the wall and rattling the bookshelves to Fate's left. Her coffee sloshed across the front of her uniform, and she blinked slowly in response. Oh well. At least her jacket was black._

_Hands slammed down on the edge of her workspace, and she looked up to see a very angry Hayate glowering at her from across the desk. Teana had wisely ducked out of the line of fire, and watched the exchange with fear in her eyes. Fate set her mug down, deciding that she didn't want to wear the remainder._

_It was going to be a long day._

"_Fate." the commander growled out._

_The blonde nodded. "Hayate."_

_Blue eyes flashed dangerously. "You. My office. Now."_

_Ah. Word travels fast, apparently._

_The enforcer stared up at her childhood friend, unblinking. "I haven't finished my coffee." She murmured calmly. "Perhaps this can wait?"_

_She was fast. She prided herself on that, forgoing power and defense for pure speed when she needed it most. She could move across the sky in mere moments, and held many records that young recruits aspired to beat._

_But today? Hayate was the speed demon, and Fate never saw her coming._

_A petite hand jerked her up by the back of her collar, yanking her to her feet and dragging her out of her office. She tried to protest, dragging her feet as though she were a petulant child. Today, maybe she was, but apparently Hayate could have cared less. She hauled the fearsome enforcer down the hall, a sight made even more entertaining thanks to the commander's slim build and stature, past soldiers and fresh faced cadets alike, leaving whispers and giggles in their wake._

_She pushed her door open, and all but threw the captain into her office before slamming the door shut. _

_Fate rubbed the back of her neck. "Was that necessary?"_

_Hayate flashed her a warning look and pointed to an office chair. "Sit."_

_Fate remained rooted in place, her gaze flicking between her friend and the door._

_Hayate sat in the plush armchair around the side of her desk and propped her elbows on the surface, her glare burning a hole through the mage. Fate honestly couldn't remember the last time she had seen her so angry. "I said, sit. If you even think about going Sonic the Hedgehog on me, I will have Signum beat you within an inch of your life, hogtie you, and parade you around the base like a goddamned trophy."_

_The enforcer cocked her head. Sonic the what? _

_The glare remained. She wisely decided to comply._

_A screen popped up before the blonde's face, and she winced as she skimmed over its contents._

"_So." Hayate said, a little more calmly now. "What the hell is this?"_

_Fate didn't make eye contact. "Transfer papers."_

"_Excellent." The brunette replied. "I'm glad we're both seeing the same thing here, because when I saw this come across my desk, I couldn't believe that one of my dearest friends was requesting a permanent transfer to the other side of the galaxy for a suicide mission."_

_Oh. That. She slouched in the chair a bit and dismissed the screen with a wave of her hand. She was way too tired for this right now. "Does this mean it's denied?"_

"_You tell me."_

"_Can we not do this right now?" Fate sighed wearily. "I've had a hell of a week."_

"_You're not the only one." Hayate responded carefully. "I had to pull a certain instructor out of her class because she had turned into an emotional wreck."_

_Russet eyes turned dark. "Well then. Call her boyfriend and leave me out of it."_

_Hayate was quiet for a moment, pursing her lips as she studied the forlorn woman before her. Quick hands pulled up another screen and rapidly tapped out commands. After a few seconds Teana's image appeared, and the brunette leaned back in her chair. "Enforcer Haralown is out for the rest of the week. If anyone has any issues with that, send them to me."_

"_M..ma'am." Teana replied crisply with a sharp salute. _

_The screen went dark, and Hayate pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk. "Good kid, that one. But you two." she sighed, retrieving two glasses and a silver flask. "What am I going to do with you two?"_

_Fate had no reply. _

_Hayate poured out two portions of amber colored liquid and slid one of the glasses across the desk towards the blonde. "Better than coffee."_

_Fate lifted the glass in a silent toast, and downed it all in one go. Hayate wordlessly refilled it, and they sat together in companionable silence._

_The enforcer had thought a transfer would be the best way to go about things. She wasn't quite ready to deal with recent events, and removing herself from the unpleasant situation had seemed like the most logical move. She had always wondered when Nanoha would find someone to share her life with, and she had always thought that she would be able to handle it when it came. But now, standing on the edge of this proverbial cliff, she realized that nothing could ever be that easy. She couldn't simply let go, sit back, and be happy for Nanoha, even though she knew she should. They had spent years together, practically a family, and it was almost impossible to watch someone else come in and claim all that she had fought for as their own._

"_You love her." Hayate stated simply._

_Fate grinned, but it was hollow. "With all my heart."_

_The commander nodded. "Where are you staying?"_

"_Motel." she muttered, taking another huge swallow. "Best I could do at three in the morning."_

"_You could have called me."_

"_I know." Fate replied quietly. "I was just hoping to be off of this planet as soon as possible."_

_A dark brow arched. "I won't approve your transfer, you know."_

_The blonde sighed warily. "Didn't think you would."_

"_How about this." Hayate offered. "Longer missions. More time away. It'll give you some space and time to think."_

_Fate mulled it over for a moment. Not quite what she wanted, but it would definitely get her out of the fallout zone, at least for a little while. "It's a start."_

"_Good. Because I would hate to have to be the one to tell Vivio that you were killed in the line of duty."_

_The enforcer held out her empty glass once more, gaze softening as it was refilled. "Ah, but we both know I'm too stubborn to die."_

"_Let's hope."_

"_By the way," Fate muttered, brows furrowing. "What's a Sonic the Hedgehog?"_

* * *

"I hate him." Fate scowled, tipping her glass back and relishing the sweet burn down her throat.

"Honey," the brunette sighed. "you can't hate anyone. You don't have a mean bone in your body."

"I can hate _him._" she growled fiercely.

Hayate snickered. "Angry at him, sure. But hate? No. I think you're just pissed that he stole your Nanoha shaped body pillow."

Fate started at that. After terrible missions, and all the horrendous things she saw in the field, there had always been nothing sweeter than the return home. Nanoha would always be able to tell, without Fate saying a word, when things had been bad. _Really _bad. She would be pulled into a gentle hug, into arms far warmer than anything else, and Nanoha would murmur things Fate could never hear. At night, when the nightmares came, Nanoha would tug her close, and gentle hands would stroke her hair, her back, and the soft pads of thumbs would brush away her tears.

Brows furrowed together, and Fate tried to blink away the sting in her eyes.

"Aw, crap." Hayate groaned, struggling to sit up. "Fate, honey, it was a joke."

"So's my _life._"

"Come on." The brunette couldn't help but laugh as she wound her arms around the captain's neck. "What are you, five?"

"Sorry." Fate mumbled tiredly. "Been awhile since I've thrown myself a pity party."

"If it's any consolation," the commander tried, tightening her hold, "it's the sexiest pity party I've ever attended."

"You're incorrigible."

"And you're smoking hot."

"Idiot." Fate huffed, puffing out her cheeks. Hayate giggled, reminded of a very different Fate she met many years ago, and burrowed in closer. The only good thing that had come out of all of this was the fact that Fate had finally allowed someone besides Nanoha to get so close to her. She really was a gentle soul, no matter how badly she didn't want to be right now, and her pain was clearly evident. The blonde slid her arm around Hayate's waist, and for once, allowed herself the rare comfort of another warm body.

"Hey," Hayate breathed softly. "did you ever tell her how you felt?"

Fate gave her a crooked smile. "Of course not. It's so much more fun to mope in the dark."

"Thought so."

Burgundy eyes squeezed shut, and Fate set her glass on an end table and tried not to wonder what Nanoha was doing now. Vivio had seemed pretty calm about the whole situation earlier today, and Fate hoped Yunno was treating her well. "Tell me the truth." she murmured at last, tugging at a loose thread in the arm of the couch. "Is she happy?"

"She is, I think." came the quiet reply. "Are you going to go to the wedding?"

Fate felt her heart clench, seizing up in her chest and twisting into a knot. She hadn't been home a whole twenty four hours yet, and she was already growing weary of that question. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, and let her gaze drift over a framed photograph of Nanoha and Vivio. Her family.

No.

His.

"Do I have to?"

"I wouldn't push you into something like that." Hayate answered honestly. "But, I'm thinking that if you want to at least repair your friendship, it wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Could I get wasted?"

"Fate-chan!" the commander laughed. "What kind of question is that?"

"So, that's a yes?" she grinned impishly.

"Oh my God." Hayate groaned dramatically, burying her face into Fate's shoulder. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you have spent far too much time with me."

"Probably." Fate chuckled, and began to absently trail her fingers through short dark hair. It was soft, like Nanoha's, but the scent was different, spicier, almost, where Nanoha's had reminded her of warm summer days and starry nights. She fidgeted with the ends, winding chestnut locks around her fingertips, and chanced a glance down at her friend. "Would you be my date?"

"Signum will love that." Hayate drawled.

"What, she can't share you for the day?"

"Technically, she's sharing me right now, and she wasn't too fond of the idea, but I put her in her place." The woman replied lightly, a blush dusting her cheeks at the mention of her lover.

Fate cocked a brow. "Kind of hard to imagine Signum letting anyone tell her what to do. It's actually quite funny."

"Shut up." Hayate growled. "I will have no one talking badly about my super amazing fluffy love bear."

"Super amazing…"

"Fluffy love bear." Hayate finished. "Yes."

Fate laughed openly now, until her sides ached and her breathing hitched. Stoic Signum, fierce Belkan Knight and cut throat warrior, reduced to…

"S..super…"

"Yes, Fate." Hayate sighed. "We covered this."

The blonde gasped for air, feeling better than she had in _months, _and struggled to wipe the tears of mirth from her eyes.

The brunette grinned. Mission accomplished. She had gotten the enforcer to relax, and get at least some of the weight she had been bearing off her shoulders. And hey, bonus points, because Fate was absolutely adorable when she was laughing like that. She poked the blonde in the side. "All done then?"

Fate snorted. "I'm going to call her that in our next sparring match."

"Your funeral." She shrugged, loosening her hold on Fate and leaning towards the coffee table once more. "Now come on Barbie. We still have half a bottle to go!"

* * *

"_Fate-chan?"_

_Fate's brow furrowed, and she burrowed down into the warm body wrapped around her own. "Come on, five more minutes?" she mumbled groggily, lips brushing over a smooth collarbone. She was tired. She was just so tired…_

_Fingers stroked through long blonde hair, pushing back messy bangs and trailing over defined cheekbones. "Fate-chan," the heavenly voice breathed again, tinted with affection. "you're going to be late. You need to wake up."_

_The enforcer's eyes refused to open. "The world will continue to spin, even if I take an extra five minutes."_

_There was a tiny hum of acknowledgment, and a quiet laugh. "This is true, but you promised Vivio you'd take her to school."_

"_Ah." Fate tightened her hold on soft curves, the heart beating under her cheek was strong, the steady rhythm almost lulling her back to sleep. "Will you be here when I get back?"_

"_Of course I will. But right now, you need to…"_

"Testarossa!" a husky voice boomed. "Unless you'd like your face rearranged, I would recommend that you release your hold on Hayate!"

"…ah?"

Bleary eyes pried themselves open, and immediately screwed shut once more. The room was way too bright, and the headache she had started to develop last night was now a stampeding herd of wild buffalo, wreaking havoc on her frazzled nerves. The room was warm, very warm in fact, and Fate snapped awake when her new personal space heater squirmed in her arms.

Burgundy eyes locked onto bright blue. She could remember a soft voice, and a gentle touch, but something was off. The shade wasn't quite right, and she really couldn't remember Nanoha being this short…

A throat cleared somewhere near the foot of the bed.

Nanoha.

A dream.

She darted up, wincing when her head throbbed wildly in protest and rapidly moved to detangle herself from the compromising situation she had found herself in. She jerked her arms back as if she had been burned, and blushed madly when she realized she was wearing the white dress shirt from her uniform and little else.

Beside her, burrowed down into the pillows, Hayate giggled. "Who knew that Fate-chan was such a cuddler?"

Her blush grew darker, and when the commander shifted on the soft mattress beside her, bare legs brushed over her own.

"Mmm," the brunette purred. "I think I could do this every day. I'm keeping your shirt, by the way." She added playfully, plucking at the front of the garment she had stolen from Fate's closet.

"I..it's not like that…" Fate stammered.

"It's not like what?" an icy tone inquired.

The enforcer then caught the sight of Hayate's guardian Signum, standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, with a menacing scowl gracing her features. Standing beside her, Vita had buried her face into the palm of her hand, and tiny shoulders shook with quiet laughter.

Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, and panic set in. "W..wait…Signum…" Fate nearly whimpered, holding her hands up defensively. "I..I didn't…"

"Signum." Hayate scolded lightly. "Don't tease her. She's going to be rocking one hell of a hangover today."

"E..eh?" the blonde looked confused, eyes darting between the pair.

The knight chuckled quietly and dropped her arms to her side. "Relax, Testarossa. I just wanted to have a little fun."

Fate's arms felt like jelly, and her wild energy deflated like a balloon. For about ten seconds there, she honestly thought that she was going to die. Feeling confused, exhausted, and very very slow, she cast a hazy gaze over the two guardians. "How did you even get in my house?"

"For an enforcer, you're rather stupid." Vita stated bluntly.

The blonde nodded. The door. Never locked it. Genius.

"Here." Signum muttered gruffly, handing her a bottle of water and a blister packet of tablets. "Those are from Shamal. She said you'd need them if you were hanging out with Hayate."

"Ouch." The brunette muttered.

"Your reputation precedes you." Fate drawled, popping the capsules immediately. She chugged half the bottle, thankful that she hadn't gotten sick at least, and grinned at the mages surrounding her. "Thanks, you guys."

"Anytime." Signum replied warmly.

"I was only here for the drunken cuddles." Hayate said with a wink.

Vita pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is cute and special and all that, but could you both please put some clothes on?"

Fate laughed sheepishly, and swore she heard the remnants of her reputation dying a slow, agonizing death. "Sorry."

"Oh. Before I forget." Vita muttered, producing a battered card out of seemingly thin air before tossing it onto the bed. "This was in the hall."

Even through her pounding headache, Fate could make out gold-leaf lettering across ivory cardstock.

_You are cordially invited…_

"OH COME ON!"

She ignored the three pairs of eyes and the odd looks she was sure she was receiving at the outburst and pulled the comforter over her head. Screw it. Five more minutes never killed anyone.

* * *

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Wow. This kinda took off and developed a life of its own. I'm glad everyone seems to be enjoying it thus far! _

_The NanoFate. It's coming. I promise. _

_As always, love it, hate it, let me know._

* * *

_**Used to be**_

-Two years ago-

Nanoha cupped her hands under the sink and dipped her head, splashing cool water over her brow and flushed cheeks.

Her mind replayed the night's events, and she squeezed her eyes shut. It happened. It just _happened_. She didn't mean for things to go this far, but they did.

Yunno had always been kind to her, and she hadn't thought anything of it when he had stopped by for a visit. She had been tired, and lonely, and maybe those factors had contributed to a hastily made decision in the dead of night. She knew he had always harbored feelings for her, in fact, he had made sure his feelings were known numerous times over the years, and after he had kissed her, things just _happened._

She studied herself in the mirror, and her reflection stared back at her. Same face. Same eyes. Her heart wasn't racing, she didn't feel like she was walking on air. The scary part was, she didn't feel any different at all. It wasn't love. It was a mistake. It just _happened._

But she knew better. These things do not just _happen. _She made a choice, and right now, it was certainly starting to look like a terrible one.

She wondered how long she could hide here in the bathroom, and then there were all the _consequences _she'd have to deal with in the morning. She would have to have conversations and discussions, and people were going to get hurt. She rapidly shook her head. No. She could deal with that tomorrow. For now, she could just get some sleep, and everything would seem so much clearer in the light of day.

She flicked off the light and opened the bathroom door as quietly as she could. She didn't want to risk waking the man in her bed, as that would require far more brain power than she currently possessed to deal with him right now, and froze in place, heart slamming to a stop against her ribcage.

Light from the hallway spilled through the open bedroom door, and for a second, Nanoha thought she was imagining things. Fate was here. Fate was _home. _Fate was glaring at the man in her bed…

No. _Their _bed.

Hidden in the dark for the briefest of moments, Nanoha could only watch the range of emotions flicker over the enforcer's face. First shock, and then confusion. The military issue duffel bag clenched in her left hand fell to the floor, and that's when Nanoha saw the damage. Fate was sporting dark bruises on her jaw and cheekbone, and field dressing adorned her left temple, the crisscrossing patterns underneath indicating stitches. There was an angry red gash over her right eye, and the hand that clenched the doorknob was wrapped in bandages.

Nanoha wanted to speak, tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Guilt rushed through her, and she wished the ground would open and swallow her whole. She had been here, safe at home, doing these _things_, and Fate had been out _there_, trying not to die.

Dark eyes locked on hers, and she sucked in a breath. All the kindness, the gentleness, all the things that had made Fate who she was drained away, and Nanoha was shaken by the amount of hurt that remained. She took a step forward, wanting, no, needing to fix this. She wanted to run to Fate. To cry. To have Fate wrap her arms around her. To tell her that it was a mistake.

It just _happened._

Yunno rolled over on the bed, and the hurt was gone, replaced by shades of anger Nanoha hadn't seen on her since she had met her years ago on a darkened street.

The blonde nodded slowly, as if she had come to some silent agreement, and picked up her bag. Within seconds, it was over, and Fate was gone.

Nanoha sank to her knees, pressing shaking hands to her mouth to stop the cries that threatened to tear from her throat. Her heart ached, and her eyes stung with tears. She couldn't understand why it hurt so bad, and why it twisted a hot knife in her gut to see Fate like that. She felt as though she had betrayed the enforcer's trust, and that was the most terrible sensation of them all.

It just _happened._

Morning came, and any and all attempts to locate Fate were useless. She had vanished, and even Hayate had refused to divulge any information as to her whereabouts. Two days later, she had come home from work to find all of Fate's things gone, and nothing but a simple note on the counter. She had written that she was getting her own place, and that she wanted nothing more than for Nanoha to enjoy her newfound happiness.

She had crumpled the note in a shaking fist. For the first time in years, she had no idea what Fate was thinking, and she couldn't understand her actions.

She was just _gone._

* * *

-_The present-_

"Nanoha."

The instructor jumped, startled out of her thoughts by the vice-captain beside her.

"Vita." she grinned sheepishly. "Thought you had errands this morning."

"I did." Vita muttered, blue eyes narrowing at the cadets scrambling around on the training ground. "Man, they're sloppy."

Nanoha winced as a particularly fresh faced recruit took a hit to the chest from a training drone, rolling to his feet and shaking himself off. "We all have to start somewhere."

"Anyway." Vita sighed, casting a sideways glance at the captain. "I was just wondering when you were going on break."

"Eh?"

The guardian shifted in place, crossing her arms. "Well. I had to go fetch Hayate this morning. She and Fate had a little too much fun last night."

At the sound of the blonde's name, Nanoha felt her heart flutter restlessly in her chest, though she kept her features devoid of emotion. "Oh?"

"Yeah." Vita replied. "Seems like Hayate had some paperwork to file this afternoon, and she's bringing Fate with her. In fact," she glanced at the screens before Nanoha, eyeing the running clock. "I'm supposed to meet them in the cafeteria in twenty minutes."

Nanoha felt a wild surge run through her. Fate would be here. It would be the first chance she had had in a very long time to see her again, face to face. What would she do? What would she say?

"So." Vita smirked, patting her on the shoulder. "Do with that what you will."

* * *

"Ready for this?" Hayate asked brightly, her grin a little too wide for Fate's liking as they stood before a wide set of double doors.

"Couldn't I just wait in the infirmary?" Fate tried weakly. "I'm only here to see Shamal. I don't know if I'm ready for…" she trailed off, gesturing with her hand.

Blue eyes narrowed sharply. "Were you always this anti-social?"

Fate frowned. "I'd hardly call it anti…"

But the door was opened, and she found herself being shoved through by the other mage. She stumbled a bit, catching her footing before she could make a total fool of herself in front of countless individuals and plastered a fake grin across her features. "What _is it_ with you and all the violence lately?" she hissed between clenched teeth.

"It's the only thing you respond to sometimes." Hayate murmured back, eyes sweeping the crowded cafeteria. "Your kink. Not mine."

"_What?"_

"I said…"

"I _heard _you just fine!"

"Wow." Hayate replied breezily. "You're tense. You really need to get laid."

"That's it." Fate huffed, throwing her hands up into the air. "I'm going to the infirmary. Pull rank. Have me court martialed. Thrown in the brig. Don't care." She spun on her heels, fully intent on marching herself out before things got any worse, and plowed right into Signum. The knight steadied her quickly, clapping hands on her shoulders and righting her once more.

The blonde groaned.

"Another bad day, Testarossa?"

"You have no idea."

"Well," the pink haired woman declared cheerfully. "come have lunch with us! Best cure for a hangover!"

"Greasy cafeteria food?" she didn't look convinced.

"I meant good company, but hey…"

Fate allowed herself to be led to a small table near the corner of the room. She settled for just a coffee, thanks, and sipped the watered down sludge the military liked to pass _off _as coffee. She plopped down into a hard plastic chair and found herself flanked by Hayate and Vita, but something about the way the shorter vice-captain was grinning was starting to set her on edge.

Amongst idle conversation and bad jokes, Fate willed herself to relax. Maybe coming home wasn't as terrible as she had feared. For the most part, things had seemed to be completely normal, not counting the obvious absence of a certain…

"Fate-chan?"

She closed her eyes. Nothing could ever be that _easy, _could it?

"Nanoha." Vita acknowledged the ace with a nod. "Have a seat!"

As the enforcer struggled to mentally prepare herself for the first actual face to face meeting since the night she bolted off into the dark, a teasing voice cut through her thoughts. _'Before you ask, no, no you cannot make your coffee an Irish double.'_

Fate quirked a brow in Hayate's direction as Nanoha pulled out the chair across from her.

'_Hayate. You are starting to creep me out.'_

'_Whatever. You'd be lost without me.'_

"I didn't expect to see you here." Nanoha smiled, so bright it hurt, and Fate had to drop her gaze. "Aren't you supposed to be on leave?"

"Post mission check-up." she replied coolly.

"Yeah," Hayate cut in. "Gotta make sure she didn't come back with any bizarre illness, or PTSD."

"The only PTSD I would get would be the result from spending too much time with you." Fate deadpanned.

"Oooh, Fate-chan, that's not what you were saying last night."

A blush sprang to the enforcer's cheeks and she almost dropped her mug. Beside Hayate, Signum cracked her knuckles and threw her a menacing glare.

Fate swallowed hard. She wasn't sure how much of Signum's threats were just teasing, and she really wasn't in the mood to find out.

Hayate ignored her discomfort. "Maybe I should take Fate to a strip club, you know, ease away some of the stresses of the job." she patted her girlfriend's arm. "What do you think?"

Signum snorted, and the blonde could swear her face was on fire.

Nanoha watched the exchange with a growing sense of confusion, eyes flicking between the two women in front of her. When had Hayate and Fate become that close? The three of them had always been good friends, but this was certainly new territory. Fate has always been quiet and reserved around people, even those she knew quite well, but she seemed different now as she laughed and joked around.

She knew that this was the first time she had been in such close proximity to the blonde in a very long time, and she'd rather not think about when she saw her last. From all outward appearances, it was the same Fate she remembered, not counting the faint scar at her left temple, only visible when she turned her head just right.

The instructor felt her hands clench into fists under the table. She had been injured? With all of the magic at their disposal, it was extremely rare to have any scars at all. She must have been hit pretty hard to…

Her heart sank. That night. The bandages.

"T...that is _extremely _unnecessary." the enforcer managed at last, definitely not liking the intense way Nanoha was looking at her right now, and she was really wishing she had never left the sanctuary of her apartment.

Nanoha snapped back to the conversation and realized that she had been openly staring. She dropped her gaze guiltily and shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin. She wondered how many scars Fate had, and felt her blood run cold. She didn't know. She really didn't know. After years of sharing everything with the blonde, from wishes and dreams to fears, it terrified her to think that the person across from her was almost a total stranger now.

"No it's not." Hayate was saying with a mischievous grin. "I'll get you a lap dance and everything. You know, they let you pick out the one you like. Maybe you could get a nice tall brune..."

Fate stomped down on her commander's foot under the table. Hard. Hayate wisely chose to cut off her sentence, but retribution was swiftly delivered via Signum's hand, flicking out over Hayate and rapidly smacking the enforcer upside the back of the head.

Fate yelped, nearly face planting into the table.

'_And you lecture me about violence, Fate-chan.'_

Vita scowled. "Really, how old are all of you? This is embarrassing."

'_This is your fault. Completely and totally YOUR fault.'_

Hayate and Fate shared a look of utter contempt, and just when Nanoha thought that things couldn't possibly get any _weirder_, they both burst into laughter. Hayate threw an arm over Fate's shoulders and ruffled her bangs. "You need to come home more often."

"Yeah, well…" Burgundy locked onto slate blue from across the table for exactly three seconds (Nanoha knew, because she could swear her heart stopped) before darting away again. So close. She was just so close…

The alarm on her wristwatch blared, and the instructor abruptly rose to her feet, her face flushed. "Ah, I have to get back to my class. Their break is just about over."

"Have fun." Vita drawled. "Don't kill them before I get there."

Signum and Hayate both waved, while Fate decided that her coffee mug was far more interesting.

Nanoha paused for a moment, hovering warily as she tried to decide what, if anything, to say to the enforcer. Her tongue felt like lead, and her throat was suddenly impossibly dry, and the longer she stood there, the more awkward she felt. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and when Fate made no move to speak, she boldly took the plunge.

"Fate-chan. It was good to see you again."

The captain was quiet for a moment, warm eyes softening before she offered a crooked smile. "Yeah. Good luck."

The table fell silent as the brunette departed, and Fate was acutely aware that she was the center of attention. She took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee and sighed warily. "You all can stop staring now."

"Baby steps." Hayate replied with a nod. "I'm proud of you."

"Because I managed to say three words?"

"Well, they weren't the three words you _should _have said, but…"

"And we're done here." Fate interrupted, giving the Lieutenant Colonel a stern look as she rose from her chair. "I'm out. Behave yourself. _Please._"

Hayate rolled her eyes. "Now, I know that you know that I can promise no such thing."

Fate exchanged looks with Signum, who grinned broadly and draped an arm over Hayate's shoulders. "Don't worry, Testarossa. If she gets naughty, I'll spank her."

Hayate flushed a brilliant shade of red, and Fate looked no better, stuttering a jumbled goodbye and making a beeline for the door.

"You guys are terrible." Vita snickered. "I thought she was going to Flash Move for a second there."

"Speaking of terrible," Hayate replied, shaking off her embarrassment, "you're pretty damn sneaky."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Vita huffed.

"So, it was _pure _coincidence that Nanoha showed up at just the right time?"

"Something like that."

"Oh Signum…" the commander sighed happily, dropping her head onto the knight's shoulder. "Our little baby is all grown up and orchestrating devious plots and schemes. Aren't you proud?"

The warrior blinked slowly. "…our what?"

Vita buried her face in her hands.

* * *

She was attracting a lot of attention, and she knew it. After the final bell rang and students began to pour forth from the high school's doors, Fate exited her car and leaned against the driver's side door, eyes peeled for the familiar mop of blonde hair. She adjusted her mirrored sunglasses, feeling a little self-conscious under all the stares she was receiving from the student body, male and female alike. She had come here on a whim after receiving a clean bill of health from Shamal, and had hoped the kid would be happy to see her. Fate hated feeling bored and restless, and with Nanoha's wedding looming over her head just a month away, she knew the odds of Hayate shipping her out were slim to none.

At last she spotted Vivio through the crowds, and couldn't help the wide grin that spread over her features.

'_Hey. Need a ride?'_

Her goddaughter perked up, and the return smile was instantaneous. She jogged across the lot and all but jumped into Fate's arms, like she had done when she was much smaller. The enforcer laughed, and affectionately ruffled her bangs. "You're not embarrassed to be seen with me?"

Vivio giggled. "Of course not. You must be the hottie all the girls were whispering about."

Fate lifted her gaze to a group of teenage girls standing near the door, pointing and giggling. "Huh." she muttered. "That is incredibly awkward."

"You should see some of the boys when mom drops me off."

Fate arched a brow. "Again. Awkward." Seemed to be the theme of the week for her, really.

"How is mom?" Vivio asked innocently as she moved around to the passenger side. "Does she know you're picking me up?"

"Ah." The enforcer shrugged lightly. "We're still, uh, not…" She rubbed the back of her neck, and tried to figure out how to word things in the best way possible. She wasn't sure exactly what Vivio thought, or what Nanoha might have told her. When she had moved out, Vivio had been fourteen. Fate had given her a highly condensed version of what had happened and why she was leaving, trying to limit her reasoning to, 'Your Nanoha-mama has a boyfriend. She needs space now.'

She couldn't even count the number of times Vivio had called her in tears, asking if she could come move in with her because she hated Yunno, or her mother was being mean, or any of the other reasons she had come up with as an angry teenager. It had made moving out all the harder, and Fate didn't think she would ever get over the guilt of leaving the girl behind. But with things as they were, and with her workload and deployments, there was no way she was set up to raise a child.

"It's alright. I'll call her then and let her know." Vivio replied brightly. "Maybe I could spend the day with you? If you're not busy?"

"If she says it's okay." she said with a grin, shifting the car into gear and guiding it out of the lot. "The last thing I want to do is step on her toes."

"Uh huh." Vivio huffed, digging through her bag for her cell phone. "Sometimes it's like you guys are divorced."

Fate cringed. Brutal honesty there. But thankfully, she was already dialing, and the enforcer did her best to ignore the conversation.

_I feel like a deadbeat dad now…_

She pushed such thoughts away and decided to concentrate on the road, sneaking the occasional glance at Vivio. She had grown up quickly, too quickly for Fate's liking, and had exhibited strong signs of a fierce independent streak, much like the woman who raised her. She was never afraid to speak her mind, something that could be quite scary when she was in a bad mood, and Fate knew that any person she decided to date would be in for an uphill battle.

But hearing her talk on the phone, and watching her play with the ends of her hair, the enforcer couldn't help but be reminded of the little five year old girl she had met so long ago. It hurt to be reminded that she had missed so much…

"She sounded surprised." the teenager said as she flipped her phone shut. "But she says she knows I'll be safe with you."

* * *

Nanoha hung up the phone, brows furrowed as she clenched the device in her hand.

"What's with the serious look?" Yunno questioned worriedly from his spot on the couch. "Is Vivio alright?"

"Hm?" Nanoha murmured. "Oh. Fate picked her up. She's spending the day with her."

"I didn't know that she was sticking around." the man replied neutrally. "Usually she's here and gone again."

"It looks like she may be staying for awhile this time."

Yunno nodded in response, but Nanoha was already lost back in her thoughts. He had always likened the blonde to a hurricane. Any mention of her name was enough to throw the two women of the house into a variable range of emotions, and they were almost never pleasant. It was enough to hurl the entire balance of the house into turmoil, and he couldn't even begin to count the number of fights Nanoha and Vivio had about someone who decided it was more important to drop everything and take off to the other side of the galaxy. He had never asked Nanoha about the nature of her relationship with the enforcer, and to be honest, he was almost afraid to. Every time she was brought up in conversation, or made a phone call to the house, Nanoha had this habit of withdrawing into herself, exactly the way she was doing right now…

"Hey," he tried, coming up behind Nanoha and placing his hands on his fiancée's shoulders. "Since we have some alone time…"

"Ah," Nanoha replied with a half-smile, ducking out of his hold. "I'm actually kind of tired, so…"

He frowned a bit, dropping his hands to his sides as she left the room. Hurricane Fate was about to make landfall.

* * *

"But he's _sooooo _boring." Vivio sighed, poking at her food with her spoon. "I don't know how mom puts up with him."

Fate arched a brow. "Well, when you love somebody…"

"Don't even." the teenager growled. "I know you loved her, and you were never boring. At least _you _could make mom smile."

The captain facefaulted, her fork halfway to her mouth. "W...what?" Did _everyone _know about her business?

"Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"Aw, honey." the blonde cut in quickly, her meal forgotten. "I never said you were stupid."

Vivio blinked quickly, and Fate could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Well, you were stupid for leaving."

These Takamachi women. They would be the death of her.

Fate reached across the table, taking the girl's hand in her own. "I wish it was that easy, but things happened." She frowned, reminded that soon, this wouldn't be her family anymore. Vivio eyed her expectantly. "Some things, some things are just out of my control."

The girl bit her bottom lip. "I suppose you couldn't just come home and beat him up?"

Fate chuckled at that, and decided not to answer. "You must get that from your mother."

Vivio blinked up at her curiously.

"The violence." Fate clarified. "That's how we became friends, you know."

"Through violence?"

The enforcer nodded. "Oh yeah. She was quite fond of shooting me."

The teenager looked doubtful. "No way."

"I'm serious." Fate laughed. "For a little while there, all we did was fight."

Vivio smirked. "So I guess nothing has changed then."

Russet eyes widened in shock. "Wow. And you used to be so sweet."

"Nanoha-mama says that all the time." Vivio grinned, not looking the least bit sorry. "So, what would we have to do to get her to shoot you again?"

"Funny."

Fate rubbed her eyes sleepily. It was getting late, and she still hadn't recovered from the night before with Hayate. The movie she had popped in was long since over, and the teenager was curled up beside her on the couch, sound asleep. Fate smoothed the hair out of Vivio's eyes and sighed quietly, not having the heart to wake her.

That only left one option.

With a defeated sigh she rose to her feet and moved into the kitchen, pulling open random drawers and pawing through them until she found what she was looking for, buried under miscellaneous gadgets she had yet to use. She brushed the cell phone off and tried to power it on, and wasn't surprised when it didn't respond. She couldn't even remember the last time she had used it, much less where the charger could be. She scowled, and tossed it back into the drawer. A com call would have to do.

With a wave of her hand she pulled up a screen, and dialed a number she knew by heart. After less than a minute the image blipped to life, and Nanoha was staring back at her.

"Fate-chan. Is everything okay?"

Fate grinned crookedly. "Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Vivio fell asleep, and I didn't want to wake her." A sudden bout of apprehension struck her, and her pulse began to race. Why was she so nervous? She shifted in place, and ran clammy palms over her pants. "So, since it's the weekend, I was thinking I could just bring her home in the morning, if that's alright."

Nanoha smiled. "Of course it is. I don't worry about her when she's with you."

"Thanks." The enforcer replied quickly, moving her hand to shut the screen down. "I'll have her home in the morning then."

"Wait, Fate-chan!"

The blonde froze, a sense of dread settling in the pit of her stomach.

"I was thinking, maybe," Nanoha murmured, dropping her gaze, "maybe we could talk. Tomorrow. Just us."

Fate swallowed hard. "I…I don't think…"

Slate blue eyes softened. "Please."

Fate sighed heavily, knowing all too well that it was too late to run now. She found herself nodding before she could process her actions, and desperately looked anywhere but at the brunette. "Alright." she agreed quietly.

"Thank you." Nanoha replied sweetly. "Good night, Fate-chan."

Words had left the enforcer completely. She nodded again and shut the screen down, letting out a breath she hadn't realized that she had been holding.

Great.

She moved back into the living room and paused in the doorway, warily pinching the bridge of her nose and squeezing her eyes shut. Of all the stupid things she could have agreed to…

Vivio flopped over on the couch, stretching her legs out to fill the spot Fate had vacated. The enforcer sighed, and gathered the girl up into her arms like she had when she had been a child. She carried her into the bedroom and gently tucked her in, adjusting the pillows and pulling the covers up to her chin.

"I'm not little anymore." Vivio muttered drowsily, burrowing down into the comforter.

"I know." Fate replied gently. "Humor me, okay?"

But the teenager was already asleep.

Fate sat on the edge of the bed, her gaze dropping down to the hands folded in her lap. It was just a month. She just had to make it one month, and then things could go back to normal for her, whatever _that_ was.

* * *

-Eighteen months ago-

Her eyelids felt so heavy, as if they were weighted down. She struggled to open them, brows furrowing at the sensation of itchy tape on her cheek, and her hands flopped uselessly at her sides.

The hell?

An unfamiliar ceiling greeted blurry vision, and quiet voices murmured somewhere off to her left. Her head was throbbing, and she could feel her heartbeat increase. Great. She was starting to panic. Panicking would get her nowhere.

Sucking in a shallow breath, she counted to ten. What was the last thing she remembered? Planet Eris. Good. Start there. Work her way up. She flexed her fingers slowly, experimentally, loosening stiff muscles and joints. That was a sign she had been here for a few days at least.

She groaned against the pounding in her head. Smugglers. She and Teana had been following smugglers, specializing in weapons devices and cybernetic parts.

She blinked rapidly, and the haze began to clear. She was definitely in a clinic or infirmary of some sort, and from the corner of her eye she could see her enforcer's uniform folded neatly on a chair, with Bardiche glittering on top of the pile under florescent lights.

Ginga. She and Teana had run into Ginga, who was on a mission of her own. She struggled to sit up, yanking on IV lines and tubes. She could remember a fierce battle in the smuggler's den, followed by a terrible weapons blast of some sort. And after that…

Nothing.

Her heart seized in her chest. Ginga. Teana. She had to know if they were alright. Shaking hands ripped the tape off of her forearm, yanking on the IV needle and pulling it out of her arm. Blood splattered across her lap and she bit back a curse. Stupid. She grabbed the sheet covering her form between her teeth and pulled on the seam, effectively ripping a strip off. Her vision blurred, but she shook her head roughly. No. She could rest later.

From the strip she fashioned a rather crude tourniquet, tying off her now bleeding arm. She patted at her face and head with both hands now, relieved to find everything intact and no bizarre wires, and swung her legs off the bed. The world spun, and she had to steady herself against the edge of the mattress.

Fate grit her teeth, bracing bare feet against the tile floor. Her legs wobbled numbly, and she had just pushed herself up to a standing position when a bay door slid open.

"Holy crap!"

There was a blur of movement, and right as her legs gave out Fate found herself being held up by her partner.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Teana growled. "You shouldn't be moving!"

The enforcer blinked at the other woman slowly. "I was coming to save you."

The redhead rolled her eyes and guided Fate back down on the bed. "Not necessary."

"Well, I can see that now." she groaned, her body aching in protest at all the movement.

"Frankly," Teana grumbled, catching Fate's legs behind the knees and lifting them back onto the mattress, "I'm surprised you can move at all. The doctor said you would be out for at least five days."

Fate dropped her head back on the pillow and pressed a hand to her eyes. "What happened?"

"Do you remember the cyborg leader?"

The captain nodded, dropping her hand as she struggled to sit up.

"Well, he didn't take too kindly to your request for disarmament. Ginga had him cornered, and he opted to self-destruct."

Russet eyes widened. "Is she alright?"

Teana grinned. "Thanks to you. You threw your stupid ass right in front of him and took the brunt of the explosion."

Fate blinked. "I got exploded?"

Her partner grimaced. "Well, grammatically, that's not even…"

The captain stared up at her blankly, and Teana resisted the urge to laugh. "Yes. Fine. You got exploded."

Fate nodded, seemingly satisfied with the revelation. "I feel pretty good, you know, for being exploded."

The redhead didn't share her enthusiasm, and held up her hand, thumb and pointer finger an inch apart. "We didn't think you'd make it. I was about this close to calling Nanoha."

Fate's eyes darkened. "We could do without that."

Teana regarded her for a long moment, and burst into laughter, clapping her hand over her mouth as she struggled to contain herself. She waved her free hand desperately in a gesture that she hoped meant no offence, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Fate cocked her head, eyes wide. "…the hell Teana?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." her partner wheezed, blinking back tears. "It's just so hard to take that kind of thing seriously when you look like that…"

"Like what?" the captain growled dangerously. "Give me a mirror."

Teana bit the inside of her cheek and handed the enforcer a small mirror off the surgeon's table, though her shoulders still shook.

Fate flipped it open and studied her reflection. No broken nose, no missing eye, still had all her teeth…

Wait.

Her jaw dropped open and she ran her fingertips over her brow.

"…what happened to my eyebrows?"

Teana lost it again, despite the fierce look her superior was giving her. "I'm so…sorry...Fate." she gasped.

"Singed right off." the captain sulked. "I look ridiculous."

"We...we could draw some back on?" Teana offered, holding a straight face for all of four seconds.

Fate glared at her a moment before dropping it and grinning sheepishly. "It is pretty funny. Signum would have enjoyed this."

Teana giggled and shook her head, gently patting her captain on the shoulder. It had been so touch and go for the past few days that it was a huge relief to laugh again, now that Fate was going to be okay. "Just please." she muttered with a lopsided grin. "Don't do that again. Nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, Teana."

The bay door slid open again, and both women turned towards the sound.

"Ginga!" Fate called happily at the sight of the dark haired woman in the doorway. "You're alright!"

"Thanks to you." Her former partner replied, approaching the captain's bedside. "How are you feeling?"

The blonde puffed her cheeks out. "Little grumpy about the eyebrow thing, but…"

"Eyebrow thing?" Ginga leaned close, and pushed back Fate's bangs with a cool hand. Her lips quirked into a tiny grin. "Huh. Look at that."

Fate could feel her face turning pink. "Teana said she'd draw some on for me."

The redhead snickered behind her hand.

"Well, thank you again, Captain Harlaown." Ginga murmured softly. "How many times have you saved me now?"

"I didn't, I mean, it wasn't…"

But Ginga had already leaned closer still, and pressed her lips to Fate's forehead. "You're still cute, even without the eyebrows."

Fate blushed even darker, and Teana's jaw dropped. There was a mood. There was definitely a mood. That meant… "A...ah." the redhead stammered, gesturing towards the door. "I just remembered. I have things to do." _On the other side of the country._

Fate looked at her quizzically, and Ginga simply smiled. "It's alright. I only had a minute anyway." She dropped her gaze back to the injured blonde. "Can I come back later?"

The enforcer stammered something out that she _thought _meant yes, and wondered just how hard she had gotten whacked in the head. After Ginga left, Fate turned her attention back to Teana. "That just happened, right? I mean, I didn't hallucinate that?"

Her partner sighed. "Just how often do you get hit in the head anyway?"

* * *

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**_Used to be_**

It had started like every Saturday morning before, and she had gone over her usual route, down the street, through the housing complex, past the training grounds. The spring weather was beautiful, and the wind was gentle and cool. Never changing. Constant. Normal.

Comfortable.

She picked up the pace, and her jog had become a run. Unlike her usual Saturday. Left here to go past the guard post. But no, she looped right, and pushed herself harder, feet pounding on the pavement.

Her muscles felt weak. Underused. Undeveloped. She longed for a real challenge again, someone who could keep up with her, and automatically her mind wandered to her best friend. Former? Maybe? She didn't even know.

Fate was home, and maybe, finally, they could fix things.

Her mind was suddenly filled with the wary sideways glances thrown her way, as if the blonde were waiting for Nanoha to lash out at any moment and strike her. There was scarcely a word spoken where there had once been complete and open lines of communication, and now? Hell. Fate couldn't even look her in the eyes.

Faster.

_Comfortable. _That was her life until Fate had come back. She had always worried about the enforcer during her disappearance, and she had always wondered about her in the back of her mind. Was she sick? Was she getting enough sleep? Was she _hurt_?

She had tried her best to respect Fate's wish for distance and space, but after three weeks of nearly driving herself insane and worrying herself sick at the beginning of Fate's self-imposed exile, she had finally gotten Hayate to agree to weekly status reports. Details were vague at best. 'Yes, she was fine. Yes, she was unharmed. No, I will not tell you where she's located.'

And then there was Yuuno.

At first, Nanoha had avoided him like the plague. Just looking at him had only reminded her of the pain in Fate's eyes that night, pain that hadn't been there since they had been children. She couldn't understand it, and she never had the chance to ask her about it. At this point though, she supposed she never would.

But Yuuno had persisted, dropping by almost every day since the incident, pleading for a chance to be heard out. In her second moment of weakness, she had relented. The last thing she had wanted was to lose _two _friends at one fell swoop.

And now?

Time had passed, and things had calmed down. Now she could be _normal_. She could get married, settle down, and do the things she couldn't do before. Yuuno was a good man, and had always been very kind. He was calm, steady, and had always treated her like any girl would want to be treated. When he had proposed a year into their relationship, after the longest single moment of her life, she had accepted. She hadn't been ecstatic, and she hadn't cried. When she had called her parents to relay the news, there hadn't been joyous cheers of delight, and her mother remained doubtful of her choice even today. But, he _could_ make her happy. She would never worry about him at all hours of the night, wondering if he was safe, wondering if he were _dead_, wondering if she would ever see him again…

She was struggling for breath now, and violently shoved such thoughts aside.

And then there was Vivio. Her sweet little girl, only not so little anymore. She had developed quite the independent streak, which had made dealing with Fate's departure all the more difficult, and her subsequent relationship with Yuuno even worse. She could tell Vivio didn't like him, and merely tolerated his presence at best. She knew Vivio viewed the man as the wedge that had driven the aces apart, and in her eyes, he was trying to replace Fate.

The bond between Fate and Vivio had always been very strong, and remained so even now, evident by the fact that Vivio's calls were the only ones Fate would answer these days.

The streets were fading behind her, and she had definitely gone off the beaten path. Her legs burned, her chest ached, and she knew that she would have some killer muscle cramps tomorrow, but she ran until she was sure she was going to collapse, pausing near a line of trees bordering the local park and bending at the waist, hands on her knees as she gasped for air. Sweat dripped off her brow, and just about every part of her was on fire, but it had been worth it.

She hadn't been this tired since the last sparring session she had had without her limiter, so many years ago, but it felt good to push herself again. That had been with Fate too, now that she thought about it. At first the blonde had been hesitant to even don her barrier jacket, but after some gentle prodding, she finally complied, and that spark lit up her eyes. Nanoha had always been a sucker for Fate's eyes. For someone as quiet as she was, it was those russet orbs that used to speak volumes, and it was during those mock battles that Nanoha loved them most. Full of fierce determination and a hint of amusement, there were many instances where the instructor was almost knocked out thanks to looking into them for a bit too long.

Had Fate been a man, she might have…

No. No. It was best to not go there.

She shook herself off, knowing that she had better do some cool down stretches or she would pay for it, when she stopped to take a look at her surroundings. She had run to the old playground without any forethought or mind to, and started a bit at the rust covering much of the decaying structures. She and Fate had brought Vivio here when she was much, much smaller, and they had eaten lunch under the large tree near the fountain, bathed in dappled sunshine. Her feet made their way to the playground equipment, and she tapped on equally rusted chains holding up a cracked plastic swing.

Suddenly, it felt like it had all been only yesterday. She had sat on the swing while Vivio burned herself out on the jungle gym, and Fate had come up behind her, in that sneaky way she always managed to do, and had given her a little push, sending the instructor into a round of giggles, picking her feet up and leaning back until the wind tugged at her hair, and the tips of her sneakers had pointed to the sky. For a few seconds, it was like learning how to fly all over again. They had continued, like a pair of little kids, until Vivio had approached the swing set, eyes wide. Fate, being Fate, knew what she wanted immediately, and slowed Nanoha to a stop, her hands gripping the chains just above the instructor's own. With a grin and a flourish, Fate spun the little girl around and plopped her down in Nanoha's lap, and pushed the pair on the swing once more, although at a much slower speed. There had been nothing but warmth and…

A car horn blasted in the distance, snapping Nanoha back to the here and now, and her gaze lingered on the fractured blue plastic seat. Time has a funny habit of eating away at _everything._

Above the tree line, the sun was beginning to rise, a sign that she should turn back soon. Yuuno was probably up by now, and Fate would be bringing Vivio home before long.

She closed her eyes. Everything they had been through, everything they had fought for, and it all turned out like this.

The chains rattled in the wind, rusty and forgotten.

It wasn't supposed to be like _this_.

* * *

Fate pulled her car up to the curb and shifted into park, eyeing the front door of her former home warily. She had told herself that she wouldn't come back here, determined to move on and build her own life, and yet here she was, following her old tracks and winding up back where she started. Hundreds of thousands of miles and two years later, and she _still _had nothing to show for it. Hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. Maybe she was a glutton for punishment.

Her actions may have seemed selfish and stupid to some, but she had spent so much time building a life around Nanoha that she had almost forgotten what it was like to just be herself. With Yuuno in the picture or not, Fate knew it would have come down to this eventually, and if it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else, as it was only a matter of time. Nanoha deserved happiness, a good husband, and a normal life. After everything she had been through, she had earned it.

What could Fate possibly offer her that would even compare? She was gone almost eight out of twelve months, her job had terrible health and safety risks, and it happened to be something she loved to do. Given her past, and all the mistakes she had made, she enjoyed the opportunity to help those who couldn't help themselves. But during rough spots, there were times she was _sure _that each move would be her last. One day, she wouldn't be strong enough, she wouldn't be fast enough, and Nanoha and Vivio would get a visit from some solemn faced captains in the dead of night, offering their apologies.

Not to mention the fact that they were _just friends_, but all recent events considered, even that was shaky at best right now.

In the long run, any happiness she had built with Nanoha in the past would only be self-destructive in the future.

"Fate-mama?"

Fate smiled apologetically at the girl in the passenger seat. "Sorry. Spaced out there for a minute."

Vivio undid her seatbelt and gathered up her schoolbag. "Not coming in?"

Her heart clenched tightly and she glanced at the clock on the dash. Eight AM, Saturday morning. Nanoha would already be up, and would have returned from her morning jog by now. She'd be making coffee, wearing her little shirt and those cute shorts, and she would pour a mug for Fate, always the late riser. She would tease her about missing half the day, and her coffee would be perfect, with a hint of vanilla in it, just the way the enforcer liked, and _dear god_.

She needed to get out of here.

"Ah, I don't think so. I'm going to head back and clean up, but I'll be back to pick you up after that." she hesitated a moment, remembering Nanoha's request from the night before. "And tell your mom…" Fate trailed off, burgundy eyes glazing over as the front door opened, and Nanoha stepped out onto the doorstep, wearing a black sports bra and tiny grey shorts, a coffee mug in her hand.

Damn, her memory was good.

The brunette waved at the occupants of the car, and Vivio waved back cheerfully before turning back to the enforcer. "Fate-mama."

"Huh?"

"I think you're drooling."

Fate snapped to attention, her cheeks red. "What?" Vivio giggled, and the captain managed to look slightly annoyed. "Where the hell do you pick this stuff up anyway?"

Vivio blinked up at her innocently.

Fate's eyes narrowed. "Hayate."

"Come on, I'm not a little girl anymore." the teenager pouted, sliding across the seat and kissing Fate's cheek. "Anyone can see it."

"Uh-huh."

"Now what did you want me to tell mom?"

This was bad. This was very bad. Two minutes in front of the house and she had reverted to dangerous ways of thinking. She sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. "Tell her, uh, that she's welcome to come with us today."

_Stupid. So very stupid._

Vivio's eyes went wide. "Seriously?"

Fate nodded, and groaned when arms were thrown around her neck, jostling her around in the driver's seat. "Hey, calm down." she muttered, detangling her limbs. "It doesn't mean anything, you got that?"

Vivio quirked a brow and opened the car door. "Uh-huh. See you in a bit."

Fate waited until she was halfway down the walk, and it took all of her self-control not to slam on the gas. Through the rearview mirror she caught one last glimpse of Vivio and Nanoha before they disappeared into the house, and she sighed tiredly.

Her best judgment was busy hurling itself out the window.

* * *

"Did you guys have fun?" Nanoha asked sweetly, dropping a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

Vivio nodded excitedly. "It was good to spend time with her. She hasn't changed at all."

Yuuno glanced at the women from over the rims of his glasses, the papers spread out in front of him on the table now largely ignored.

"She lives like a bachelor though." the girl continued, moving into the kitchen and fetching down a glass from the cabinet. "Good thing she's taking me to the shopping center today. Maybe I can convince her to buy some things to make it look like someone actually lives in her apartment. It looks so lonely."

"Oh?" the instructor replied neutrally.

Vivio's grin was broad as she poured herself some of the juice sitting on the counter. "Mmhm." She took a long sip and tried her best to ignore the looks coming from Yuuno. "She said you should come too."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" the man said at last, brows furrowed in concern.

His fiancé turned to look at him, the hands around her coffee mug gripping just a little tighter. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, she hasn't exactly been…" he started, waving his hand, tempted to say the word _stable, _but the icy look on Nanoha's face gave him second thoughts.

Vivio scowled. "Whatever. I'm going to go get ready."

Nanoha's features almost mirrored Vivio's as the teenager's footsteps disappeared down the hall. The following door slam made Yuuno wince, but the instructor cut off anything he might have said. "What did I tell you about badmouthing Fate in front of Vivio?" the brunette scolded, lightly thumping him on the arm.

He almost rolled his eyes. "When you say that, it almost sounds like you two are divorced." As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Slate blue eyes, usually so soft and warm, suddenly seemed to burn with the rage of a thousand suns. Yuuno hastily scrambled to his feet, hands up as if to ward off any incoming blows. "Wait. I didn't mean that."

"Well what exactly _did _you mean?"

"I just…" he sighed, not looking for a fight. "I just worry. I don't want her to take off again without a word, and leave you and Vivio just hanging here." Yuuno tried, dropping his stance and resting a hand on her hip almost hesitantly. "It hurt you both so badly. I don't want to see that again."

Her anger faded, and Yuuno almost sighed in relief.

"Maybe I worry about that too." came the quiet reply. Nanoha chewed the inside of her cheek, and he took her mug from her hands.

"I'm sorry." he offered softly.

"Me too." Nanoha murmured. "I guess it's still a bit of a sore spot."

"Just, be careful? Please?"

"I will." she smiled sweetly, and brushed her lips over his. "Thank you."

Yuuno chuckled. "Now why can't Vivio forgive me so easily?"

The bathroom door slammed across the hall, and Nanoha groaned. "Because she's a lot like her mother."

Yuuno decided to let that one go, and took a sip of Nanoha's coffee, crinkling his nose up at the taste.

"Don't like it?"

"Not really. It's almost too sweet." he muttered. "What did you do to it?"

"Added some vanilla."

"Well, it's different, I'll give you that." Yuuno replied, handing it back. "When did you start doing that?"

Nanoha thought of cracked seats and rusted chains, and her eyes automatically trailed over to Fate's normal place at the head of the table, where Yuuno's papers lay scattered. "Just a whim today."

* * *

Fate adjusted her sunglasses and fussed with her hair one last time in her rearview mirror. Her shower and quick wardrobe change had done little to quell the feeling of impending doom in her gut, and just when she had about lost her nerve and peeled away from the curb in a flurry of tire smoke and regrets, the front door opened. Vivio almost skipped out, hardly looking like the young adult she was now, and Nanoha trailed behind her, pausing long enough in the doorway to kiss Yuuno goodbye.

The enforcer sucked in a breath, mentally counted to ten, and questioned her own sanity for the eighth hundredth time that morning.

Friends. _Friends. _She had no right to sit here and act like this.

But her stupid legs were moving without her permission as she climbed out of the driver's seat and walked around to the passenger side of her car, opening both doors. Vivio cast a sly glance her way and dove into the backseat, leaving Nanoha and Fate in the front.

Fate nodded slowly, lips pulled into a taunt line. That child. That child was _pure evil. _

"Thank you." Nanoha murmured softly, easing into the front seat and unwittingly giving Fate an eyeful of long slender legs, thanks to her short skirt.

The blonde muttered something unintelligible, suddenly grateful for her mirrored aviator style sunglasses, and waited until the instructor was settled in before closing the car door. Great. Now she was a teenage boy. She moved to the rear door now, sliding her glasses down the bridge of her nose and gave Vivio a long, even stare.

Vivio smirked, silently mouthed 'you're welcome', and pulled the door shut on her own.

Fate groaned. Maybe this had been a _terrible _idea after all. Maybe she should have taken this a bit slower. Take some baby steps, ease back into things, and not just jump in head first and...whoa. Her ears pricked, and the back of her neck tensed up. Years of fighting had helped to hone certain instincts, and she knew without having to turn around that there were eyes on her. As she moved to slide back into the driver's seat, she caught Yuuno's outline in the front window. Her jaw clenched, and she was briefly reminded of wrinkled sheets, and the look on Nanoha's face…

Vivio peeked at her through the car window, and Fate broke the staring contest. Getting mad? What would that accomplish at this point? How long could she hate him for taking something that was never hers to begin with? She shook her head and slid down into the seat, turning over the engine and desperately trying to ignore the scent of Nanoha's perfume.

The car was filled with awkward silence as she guided the vehicle down the street, and she opted to flip on the radio just to break the tension. Her ears were immediately assaulted by obnoxious pop music, and she stared at the operator panel in horror.

Nanoha quirked a brow. "Really? I didn't know you liked this stuff."

"I wouldn't say that." Fate muttered darkly, punching buttons. "That's what I get for leaving my baby in Signum's care."

Vivio leaned forward from the backseat, her tone incredulous. "She likes it? That's…pretty hard to picture." An image flickered to her mind of the fierce, stoic knight, bouncing around to the latest idol's number one hit…

"I'm going to guess she had Hayate in here."

"Huh." Vivio replied, rummaging around near her feet and holding up a lacy undergarment between two fingers. "Then that would explain this."

Fate's gaze flickered up in the rearview mirror, catching sight of the object Vivio dangled between her fingertips. "Ah!" her cheeks flushed red. "Put that down! You don't know where that's been!"

Beside her, Nanoha stifled her laughter.

The teenager shrugged, dropping it back down onto the floor mat. "For a minute there, I thought you had gotten a girlfriend."

There was exactly ten seconds of heavy silence. Fate's jaw hung open, and her grip on the steering wheel tightened. Her face grew hotter by the moment, and she knew without looking that she must have the coloring of a tomato by now.

"You'd tell us if you did, right?" Vivio continued.

And suddenly Nanoha wasn't laughing anymore.

"That's...there's nothing like that." Fate stuttered, uncomfortably aware of the two sets of eyes boring holes into her head. How wonderful. The first time they had all been together for years and in two minutes it had spiraled into chaos.

"I think you're lying."

Fantastic.

* * *

"No." Nanoha and Fate replied at the same time, though where Fate's tone was one of vehement disapproval, Nanoha's was one of patience and years of experience.

"But, but…" the teenager whined, holding up a garment that Fate found quite unsuitable for even field dressing. "This shirt is so cute…"

"Absolutely not." the enforcer growled. "That cannot be classified as a shirt on _any _planet, and I've been to plenty."

"Okay," Vivio tried, "so it's a little short, but…"

"_No."_

"Mom?"

Nanoha tried to swallow her grin. "Listen to Fate."

She received an exasperated eye roll in response, and as Vivio stomped back off to the rack, Fate let out a sigh of frustration. "She used to be so cute…"

Nanoha patted her arm softly. "They grow up quickly. I will say this though, it's nice to not be the bad guy for once."

The blonde almost pouted. "I'm the bad guy?"

"She'll get over it."

Fate scowled. "It was the size of a bandanna and practically see-through."

Nanoha quirked a brow. "Funny, coming from you. In case you've forgotten, I _have_ seen your Sonic Form."

Fate felt her cheeks heat up. "Well, that and this are two _completely_ different things."

"I'm sure."

The enforcer crossed her arms. "And it's not like I ever heard any complaints."

Nanoha's cheeks flared up in response, an image of Fate's skintight black barrier jacket springing to mind. "Can't imagine you would."

Vivio had finished perusing this particular store, but when she walked back to the entrance, she was more than a little surprised to find both of her mothers a bright shade of red, and looking everywhere else but at each other. She felt her heart skip a beat and fought the urge to break into a huge grin. This was going far, far better than she could have hoped, as this was a sure sign that they could at least hold a conversation now. "I'm done here!" she announced cheerfully.

"Oh thank God." Fate muttered under her breath, earning a elbow to the ribs from Nanoha.

"Is spending time with us really that terrible?"

"Wait, what?" Fate replied quickly, brow creased with concern. "That's not what I meant at all!"

Vivio smirked as she and her mother exchanged glances. "That's what it sounded like to me."

"I…but, it's just…" The blonde was floundering for words now, practically flailing her arms in a panic. These women had a terrible habit of giving her mild heart attacks, and today was obviously no exception. Nanoha and Vivio giggled at her plight, and she was sure her heart _had _stopped beating when the brunette slipped an arm through hers.

"I think we've bullied her enough." Nanoha's smile was warm, and Fate felt her brain turn to mush. The photograph of Nanoha and Vivio Fate kept in her living room couldn't ever compare to seeing this smile in person, and for this brief, wonderful moment, it was like the past few years had all been a bad dream. Vivio took ahold of her other arm, and Fate had to swallow hard against the knot in her throat.

"Should we hit the next store?"

Fate could only nod in response, not trusting herself enough to speak as Vivio led them back out into the mall. The teenager wisely opted to stay a few feet ahead, and the pair fell into a comfortable silence. Old habits were dangerously easy to fall back into, and Fate found herself slowing her stride to match that of the woman beside her. She wondered if her earlier apprehension about today's meeting had been all nerves, and was about to silently congratulate herself on a job well done when the silence was broken.

"Hey, Fate-chan?" Nanoha asked shyly, eyes on the floor.

"Hm?"

She toyed with the hem of her skirt, and Fate realized that maybe she wasn't the only one who had been nervous about today. "I…I'm really glad we could do this."

"Me too." Fate admitted quietly. The talk. Was this the talk? The, 'where the hell have you been' talk? The one she had been avoiding for _years_? "It's…been awhile."

"Little bit of an understatement there." Nanoha laughed.

Oh. Uh oh. Fate frowned a bit, wondering how best to proceed. Making a declaration of her undying love? Now _that _would be stupid. "Look, Nanoha…"

"Fate!"

The blonde turned at the sound of her name, almost knocked off her feet when a flash of purple and a very feminine body burrowed into her arms.

Vivio stopped in her tracks, looping back to stand beside Nanoha, who was eyeing Fate and her new found friend quite strangely.

The enforcer stumbled for a second and laughed heartily, returning the embrace once she gathered her bearings. "Ginga! What are you doing here?"

She was rewarded with a bright smile. "I had some down time, so I figured I'd pick up some things. And you?"

"Ah, spending some time with…" Fate started, trailing off and stomping down the insane urge to say family. "Nanoha and Vivio."

"Oh." Ginga replied, surprise evident in her tone. "Hello."

Both Takamachi women jumped at the address, nodding back with polite smiles.

"Are you on some leave then?"

"Hayate didn't give me a choice." Fate grumbled.

"Well you needed it." Ginga replied firmly. "You've been working almost non-stop. Which reminds me…" a quick hand darted up, pushing Fate's bangs out of her eyes and running a thumb over her brow. "Ah! Back to normal!"

"I was worried there for a while," the blonde admitted with a grin, "but they came back rather quickly."

Nanoha, meanwhile, was a bit confused, and suddenly recalled the violent blush that had sprung to Fate's cheeks back in the car, when Vivio had asked if she were seeing anyone. "What?" the instructor asked aloud, surprising even herself.

"Oh." Fate muttered, as if she suddenly remembered where she was. She turned her attention back to the women she had brought here and flashed them an apologetic grin. "There was a little, uh…incident."

"Incident?" Ginga echoed, raising an eyebrow. "Hardly." She released her hold on Fate, and Nanoha couldn't help but notice that she kept one hand on the small of the enforcer's back. "You saved my life. How many times is that now?"

Fate grinned crookedly. "Maybe I should get you a little punch card. Tenth rescue comes with a free lunch?"

Nanoha blinked. Fate was…flirting?

Ginga laughed, tucking long stands of violet hair behind her ear. "Ah, but I think I'm the one that owes you the meal. If you're going to be around for the next couple of weeks, give me a call."

"Absolutely."

Vivio cocked her head and cast a sideways glance at her mother, who was currently fidgeting in place, her features unreadable.

"I won't hold you all up any further. Have fun then, Nanoha, Vivio." Ginga said with a slight wave.

Vivio started, waving back, and Nanoha remained rooted in place.

"And you too." Ginga continued, leaning forward and kissing Fate on the cheek.

"Always." Fate replied easily, and Nanoha wasn't sure she liked the dopey grin on the blonde's face as Ginga departed. When the enforcer turned back to the women, she physically took a step back at the looks being directed her way.

Vivio was first, crossing her arms and raising a brow. "Thought you didn't have a girlfriend."

"I don't." Fate replied, confused. "That was just Ginga. You know Ginga."

"Not as well as you do, apparently." Nanoha sniped back, bitterness seeping into her tone.

The blonde threw her an incredulous look. "Whoa, what? Where did _that _come from?" She must be lacking some serious sleep, or maybe she had taken one too many knocks to the head, because she was almost positive that Nanoha was practically radiating a green aura of jealousy.

That terribly awkward silence was back, and this time, Fate had no means of escape.

* * *

The car ride back was just as awful, and the instructor hadn't said barely a word since they had left. She currently sat with her arms crossed, gaze locked on the world outside the car window. She wasn't comfortable with this feeling of unease that had settled in her chest, and the longer the silence dragged on, the angrier she got. Beside her, Fate drummed her fingers on the wheel and shifted in her seat restlessly, as if she were preparing to dive out of the door at a moment's notice. Nanoha only wished she could discern where her anger was coming from. Fate had always had friends, but this one, this one just _irked_ her.

She stole a sideways glance and watched the muscles in Fate's jaw line tense, dark eyes unreadable behind her sunglasses. And then there was the kiss on the cheek. What the heck was that all about? Just how well did they know each other?

She twisted her engagement ring around on her finger and bit her lower lip. Why the hell did she even care anyway?

Maybe…maybe it was jealousy. Just a little. Fate had been so quick to run off and disappear, only to come back with all these super new best friends in tow. She had been too busy or whatever to contact Nanoha, but obviously not too busy to keep herself from building new relationships.

Relationships.

She was starting to hate that word.

The car slowed, and Nanoha jerked out of her thoughts. That had been quick.

"So." Fate drawled, her features impassively blank now. "We're here."

In the backseat, Vivio's eyes darted back and forth between the two women. "Ah, I'm gonna…go…do stuff." She leaned forward just far enough to wrap an arm awkwardly around Fate from behind. "Thank you. It was…fun?"

The car fell silent once more as the three exchanged looks, and Fate broke the tension first, snickering softly. "Yeah. We should do this _every _day."

Vivio giggled, and the arm around Fate tightened. "Totally."

Nanoha found herself grinning despite the dull ache in her chest, and she couldn't help but laugh. As Vivio slipped out of the car and down the walkway, the tension suddenly returned when the brunette realized she was alone.

With Fate.

The enforcer decided that her lap was a pretty good place to fix her line of vision, and she did just that, silently wondering what could possibly happen next.

"I'm sorry."

Burgundy eyes snapped to her left. Well. She hadn't been expecting that.

Nanoha smiled sadly. "I think, I was maybe a little jealous, you know?"

Fate remained quiet. No. No she did not know.

"It's just weird." she continued quietly. "I mean, I just, missed you. And now you're back." The ring twisted on her finger once more. "And everything is just so different now…"

The blonde nodded in agreement. That she could understand, one hundred percent. Her brows creased in thought as she mulled over her next words carefully, still not daring to make eye contact. Her hand moved on its own, crossing the distance between them and gently resting over Nanoha's. She felt the other woman start a bit at the contact, and any rehearsed words vanished. The lump in her throat was back, and she didn't like the sting it made in her eyes. "For what it's worth, I missed you too."

The hand beneath her own flipped over, and suddenly their fingers were knotted together. "Maybe we can try the talking thing again?"

Fate laughed quietly. "Another day, maybe. Your boyfriend has been burning holes into my head since we got here."

Nanoha groaned, looking back towards the house and stifling the urge to roll her eyes when she spied Yuuno in the front window. "Sorry about that."

"He's protective." Fate shrugged lightly. "If I were in his shoes, I would be too."

Nanoha turned back to look at her, her expression unreadable, and Fate cringed inwardly. Now _that_ was dumb.

But the brunette leaned forward, wrapping an arm around Fate's neck and squeezing tightly. Fate froze on the spot, as if she was unsure of what to do next, her hand hovering hesitantly over Nanoha's back. She swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lingering scent of her perfume and the way her soft hair tickled her against her cheek. This…this was better than she had remembered. Maybe, maybe it would be okay, just this once, and her arm was around Nanoha, holding her tight.

She was going to hate herself for this later, she just knew it.

"Promise me." Nanoha whispered, somewhere between her neck and her shoulder blade. "Promise me you won't leave like that again."

Fate closed her eyes. "I promise."

* * *

TBC…

_Notes: Well, I must say, I love the way that everyone is all NANOHA. WHAT THE HELL. I hope some of her motivations have been cleared up a little bit. It's kinda like watching the anime, you know? You just wanna grab them and be like, KISS ALREADY. YOU ARE KILLING ME._

_But real life sucks. It always does. There are always complications, and nothing is ever clear, especially where the heart is involved. So, for the folks enjoying that part of the fic, you are welcome. :3_

_To all the Ginga fans, I guess you have to wait and see._

_As usual, love it, hate it, let me know! _


	4. Chapter 4

**_Used to be_**

-Sixteen Months Ago-

Fate tipped her head back against a crumbling wall. The small town had been nearly decimated in the battle between the enforcers and some rogue mages over a lost logia. From her barrier jacket she withdrew a single cigarette and a match, striking it against hard stone and lighting the end of the cigarette. A single smoke after every battle for the enforcers who weren't going home. It was an odd ritual for her squad, but one that had seemingly stuck throughout the years, having been started by her former superior before she had been shot down, nearly four years prior.

Shot down. What an odd way to phrase such a thing.

Her leg throbbed dully, and the sticky warmth that trickled down past her knee was a sign that she would probably need stitches soon. Judging by the sheer number of critically wounded though, she figured she would end up stitching it up herself. She took a long drag, surveying the efforts of the cleanup crew as they scrambled to remove all traces of the bloody battle, and waited for the night to end.

Her hands shook, and she paid them no mind. They always did, now.

_If you were here, would you calm me down?_

"Those aren't good for you." A quiet voice murmured to her left.

Fate smirked. "I know, but tradition demands it." From the corner of her eye, she watched Ginga lean back against the wall beside her, sliding down until she was sitting on cold terrain beside her. The woman pulled a cigarette from inside her own jacket, grinning sheepishly.

"Old habits. Couldn't bring myself to stop."

"Mm." Fate hummed in acknowledgment. "Once a member of the eighth squad…"

"Always a member." The younger woman finished quietly. "I was surprised to hear you were out on this mission so soon after the last one, and you are a very difficult woman to track down. Aren't you going to take any leave?"

Fate shook her head. "I have no reason to go home. Besides, someone has to watch over that crazy partner of mine. She gets these silly ideas…"

Ginga laughed softly. "Oh really? When I was your partner, I seemed to remember the one getting all the foolish ideas was actually…"

"Ah." Fate cut in. "Don't finish that statement out loud. It's nice that the younger ones all think that I actually know what I'm doing."

"Oh, stop it."

The blonde grinned. "What about you? Don't you want to go home?"

"Ah, it's about the same for me, since father died. Subaru seems to be doing fine on her own. I guess I'm just of better use out here."

Fate exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl up into the night air. She didn't want to go home, but she certainly didn't want to be on this planet any longer. The dust stirred up from the battle had near blotted out the stars overhead, and the light from the twin moons seeped through the clouds eerily. "I know that feeling."

"Sir." Bardiche cut in. "Incoming call from Raising Heart."

She sighed warily, squeezing her eyes shut. "Is it an emergency?"

The device fell silent for a moment. "No Sir, it doesn't appear to be."

Fate took another long drag, acutely aware of the curious eyes on her. "Then ignore it."

"Yes Sir."

Ginga quirked a brow. "I guess we all have our troubles."

"Life is complicated." Fate agreed. One of the rogue mage was carried by on a stretcher, howling as he clutched what was left of his arm."_Everything_ is a battle, and I prefer battles that make sense."

Ginga sighed heavily, stubbing her cigarette out into the dirt. The communicator in her ear blipped shrilly, and she tapped the receiver to go over speaker. "Nakajima here. Go ahead."

"_Hey, Ginga. Did you find that blockhead yet?"_ A familiar voice echoed dully as it bounced through tinny speakers.

Fate blinked. "Blockhead?"

Ginga bit back her laugh. "Yes, I have found Captain Harlaown."

The blonde looked pained. "Thanks…"

"_Excellent. I've already located Lanster. Can you bring her over to the barracks?"_

Fate shook her head in the negative and crossed her arms. Blockhead? Really? "Tell Signum to shove it up her…"

"We'll be there shortly." Ginga replied sweetly, tapping the receiver once more to end transmissions.

"Traitor."

"Captain."

Fate sighed as Ginga rose to her feet, brushing her uniform off. "No Captain. Just Fate. How many times do we have to go over this?"

Green eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief as Ginga tapped two fingers to her forehead in salute. "Yes Captain."

Fate groaned aloud, but the younger woman ignored her, summoning a screen and tapping out a quick series of commands. "Shall I arrange for transportation via one of the convoys? The med trucks are heading back to the barracks anyway."

She shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer to fly."

Ginga eyed her wounded leg critically. "Are you sure you're alright to…?"

"It'll be fine." Fate reassured her, pushing herself off the wall and ignoring the joints that popped in protest. She tapped the corner of Ginga's screen, abruptly closing it out, and grinned at the investigator's confused look. "Like old times." Fate murmured, holding out an arm. "Need a lift?"

Ginga eyed the outstretched hand, her cheeks turning pink. "Well, uh…"

Fate took this as a yes, and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Hold on."

Ginga gripped onto Fate tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Sure the hugging part was nice, but the rest? The ground beneath their feet turned gold, and she couldn't help the squeak of panic that escaped her as they took off, Fate's laughter ringing in her ears as they streaked across the sky.

Tea and Signum were waiting for them when they landed outside the main building for the barracks at their makeshift base. Tea merely arched a brow at Ginga's disheveled appearance and Fate's enormous grin, and Signum shook her head as the blonde released her hold on Ginga. "Better watch yourself Testarossa. You're going to start some rumors."

"Nice to see you too. What brings you out here?"

"Welfare check." Signum drawled. "Hayate was worried when she heard that certain squad members were involved in a large scale explosion…"

All eyes turned towards the blonde, who rolled her eyes in response. "Come on. That was over a month ago."

"Regardless." Signum continued, "I've brought Shamal to help tend to the wounded." Blue eyes dropped to Fate's leg. "And it looks like you just fell into that category."

Fate glanced over at Ginga, narrowing her eyes sharply. "It appears that I have been set up."

Ginga smiled up at her innocently. "Oh?"

"Come on." Signum sighed, draping an arm over Fate's shoulders. "I know you hate doctors, but it's just Shamal. Cooperate with me, and I'll buy you a beer."

* * *

"So then," Fate laughed, gesturing her bottle towards her partner. "Teana threw me over her shoulders and hauled me through the ruins, all while under fire."

Signum chuckled. "Must have looked ridiculous."

"What?"

"For starters, you're the fearless leader. And then you factor in your freakish height compared to hers…." The knight trailed off, tipping her bottle to Teana in salute. "Girl deserves a medal."

Tea crossed her arms and scowled. "It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't been sobbing the entire time."

Her partner looked wounded. "Now, that part you could have left out."

The women laughed, and Fate shook her head. "Shameful, I know." The waitress brought another round of shots, and Signum groaned.

"I don't know how much more I can drink."

Fate quirked a brow, and slid one of the shot glasses over to Ginga. "That's bizarre, coming from you. Hayate must keep you on a short leash now."

The knight flashed her a goofy grin. "She can keep me on whatever she likes."

Fate groaned aloud, burying her face into the palm of her hand, while Teana made a sound of disapproval, downing half her beer in one go.

Blue eyes blinked, confused. "What?"

"Take your happiness elsewhere." Teana muttered, earning an enthusiastic nod from Fate as they clinked their bottles together in agreement. "This right here," she continued, making a sweeping gesture with her hand to indicate the table, "is a relationship free zone. Got it?"

"Wait," Ginga piped up, "so you and my sister aren't…?"

Fate stiffened in her chair, and cast a nervous glance in Tea's direction. Blue eyes flickered dangerously, and the blonde decided to not so subtly slide her chair over a few feet. She wasn't in the mood to pick broken glass out of her face, and she had already learned the hard way to _never _mention Subaru. _Ever. _

Tea drew one of her guns and slammed it down on the table, her finger hovering over the trigger, and the grin she had was downright terrifying. "Let's just say I have a bone to pick with your sister."

If she were affected, Ginga didn't show it. "Well. That would explain all the alcohol."

"Exactly!" Fate drawled, not wanting to have to explain another bar fight to Hayate. "Quick. Someone go find the waitress."

Several rounds later, Fate was feeling rather warm, and was seriously starting to reconsider her decision to drink. She had already discarded her white cloak, and her dark blue sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. Her injured leg sent out nothing more than muted tingles, and it was a sign that she was going to heal quickly. Teana seemed to have lost all of her earlier spunk, and her cheeks were rather flushed. Signum looked no better, thanks to her lowered tolerance, and even Ginga was starting to get rather giddy.

"Sir?" Bardiche intoned.

Fate shook her head to try and clear the fog. "Yeah. Shoot."

"Incoming call."

"Bardiche." Fate replied tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Don't send her calls to me unless it's an emergency."

"Sir."

The table fell silent, and she realized she was the center of attention. She reached for another shot, tipping it back and not even feeling the harsh burn in her throat. What time was it on Mid-Childa? Scratch that. What planet was she even on now? Everything had started to blur together a few hours ago, and she couldn't remember much of anything anymore. It was actually quite fantastic, now that she thought about it.

Ugh. But thinking hurt, and even though she knew she had both feet planted firmly on the floor, the room seemed to be moving.

Signum held an even gaze on her. "Testarossa?"

"Yeah?" Fate closed one eye for a second, and the world didn't seem to spin as much anymore. Much, much better.

Ginga rested a hand on her forearm. "You alright?"

Fate threw her a disarming smile and a wink. "Ask me that next week, because I'm sure I'll have a nasty headache tomorrow."

"Excellent point. I'm gonna go to bed." Tea drawled, rising to her feet. She patted Fate's shoulder wordlessly and waved towards the rest of the group, staggering a bit as she made her way to the door.

"I'm going to go walk her back." Signum announced, following suite. Her gaze flickered back and forth between Fate and Ginga, her mouth pulling into a tight line.

'_Testarossa. Don't do anything you will regret.'_

'_Ten years too late. But thanks.' _Fate pushed the thought back, amazed that she still had the mental capacity to control her telepathy. Signum gave a half-hearted wave over her shoulder, already knowing that her warning would go unheeded.

"I think that's our cue as well." Ginga said with a grin, stretching her arms over her head.

"I'll walk you back." Fate offered, pushing herself to her feet and offering the crook of her arm. "Hostile territory and all that."

"My hero." Ginga drawled, looping her arm through Fate's and allowing the blonde to lead her outside.

The night air was a bit cooler, and felt fantastic on the captain's heated skin. It had been awhile since she had drank that much, and she was thankful that she wasn't on duty until tomorrow evening. The stars were visible now, and out of habit, she tried to pick Mid-Childa out of the endless expanse of sky. A wasted effort, her equally wasted mind tried to point out, but she shook it off roughly.

"Can I ask you something?" Ginga said quietly, leaning in a little closer towards Fate.

"Go for it."

"Are you really okay?" the younger woman asked softly. "You've been…" she trailed off, as she struggled to find the right word, "different."

Fate quirked a brow, and nodded in acknowledgment to a passing guard. Their walk was turning into a leisurely stroll, and for once, she didn't mind the company. "How so?"

"Well, for one, you're certainly more outgoing."

"And that's bad?"

Ginga laughed, tucking stray locks of dark hair behind her ear. "No, but I guess it's more your demeanor than anything else. I mean, how long have I known you?"

Fate squinted in the darkness. "Ah, don't ask me any questions that involve math right now."

The investigator bumped her shoulder playfully, causing them both to stumble a bit. "Seriously. We've known each other a long time, but when have we ever done something like this?"

The blonde chuckled. "Are you sure it's not just the alcohol?"

"I'm sure." Ginga replied confidently. "I can see it in the way you interact with the people around you. It's my _job _to pay attention to details, you know."

"And a fine job you do."

"You didn't answer my question."

"It's like this." Fate said. "You build up this life, this whole world, around what you know and what you _think _you know. You become this person based on this idea of who you think you are and who you think you should be, only to come home one night and find out you were wrong, about _everything_. This world, this ideal, it's broken."

Ginga nodded slowly.

"I tell you this, because I know you understand." Fate continued. "You have all these broken pieces, but no idea about how they fit together. Is it better to struggle with that mess, or start fresh?"

Her former partner gave her a sideways glance. "In my experience, you start fresh. Put the mistakes behind you."

Fate grinned. "Exactly. And that means becoming a new person. Learning to be you before you build up a new life, so that next time, if it all shatters, you're not such a mess. This is the second time this has happened to me now, and I'm tired of feeling like I have no control. So I think, I think it means that I have to do things different. I have to _be _different. I have to do things I have never done before."

"I would hardly call you a mess."

The blonde shook her head. "Which is exactly why I dodge calls and hide out on remote planets, right?"

Ginga studied Fate carefully. That had been the most she had ever said on the subject, but it was enough. There had always been a certain level of admiration on her side, ever since the day Fate had blown through that ship and scooped her up, and that incident had certainly increased her desires to become an investigator. And then she had met Nanoha, the ace who had rescued her little sister, and in her mind, it had made sense that Nanoha and Fate would be together in just about every sense of the word. But after she signed up with TSAB, and she had the chance to work with Fate one on one, she learned that everything was not as it seemed. For one, there was no 'together', and she could tell it hurt by the look in Fate's eyes and the tone of her voice when she would speak to Nanoha on the communicator. But Fate was blindly loyal, and even though it would have been easy to have as many lovers as she had wanted during her travels, Ginga couldn't recall a single instance of Fate even looking at anyone else. Though she was very strong, she hated to fight, and she always carried herself with a kind and gentle aura. Being a woman of very few words, she could get her point across with just a look, and it was very bizarre for Ginga to see Fate so unfiltered.

Even now, dark eyes were distant, and Ginga couldn't help but wonder how long Fate had been alone.

"I guess it's just my way of escaping from things. Throw myself into my work, you know? Keeps me busy."

The investigator knew that feeling all too well. "So you don't have time to think."

"Exactly." she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But after all of that tough talk, I thought it would be easier than this, you know?"

"What's that?"

"Disappearing." Fate murmured. "I keep trying, but she won't let me."

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the fact that the night looked like it would stretch on into forever, Ginga didn't know, but she had already decided that maybe, just for tonight, she would be the one to save Fate. She reached for her hand, lightly weaving their fingers together, the palm of her hand ghosting over Fate's. Fate snapped back to attention, pulled out of her dark thoughts, and rested her gaze on Ginga, and then down to their joined hands.

Ginga couldn't help her smile when Fate held her hand just a little tighter.

* * *

Fate sucked in a breath, russet eyes widening when the backs of her knees hit the edge of the mattress. Deceptively strong hands were on her shoulders, and she found herself being pushed down into a sitting position. "Ginga." she tried, a little confused by the way her own voice shook. "I don't?"

Ginga stepped forward, suddenly up in her personal space, and all Fate could think about was how nice her perfume smelled. Fingertips danced up her neck, over her jawline, and hands buried themselves into her hair.

"Disappearing. It's kind of like dying, right?"

_Dying? _Oh. The numbers, during the JS Incident. Technically, Ginga had been dead for…

The alcohol in her blood muddled up her mind, and Fate briefly wondered if she had been this warm a few minutes ago. Lips brushed over her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, and she forgot how to think. The blonde swallowed hard and tried to ignore the blood roaring in her ears. "We shouldn't." the hands in her hair faltered for a fraction of a second. "I feel like I'm using you." she tried, not trusting her voice. "I mean, I don't…"

The smile she received in return was both beautiful and sad, all at the same time. "I know." A kiss was pressed to the corner of Fate's mouth, and dark eyes fluttered closed as her pulse sped up. "But maybe, just this once…"

"We…we should really…" Fate tried again, half-heartedly as her arms wound around the warm body in front of her. Was this, was this really okay? It was one thing to be lonely, but it was another thing altogether to take advantage of someone else, just to feel a bit of warmth. For half a second, she saw Nanoha's face behind closed eyelids, and roughly pushed such thoughts away.

It didn't matter.

"Captain." Ginga whispered in the dark. "It's okay." Soft lips pressed against Fate's temple, over an angry scar. "I promise. No mess in the morning. Just let me take care of you for tonight."

The enforcer could feel her resolve breaking as her breath caught in her chest at the hands sliding under her uniform. "What did I tell you about calling me captain?"

* * *

Fate awoke as the strange colored sun of this world began its ascent in the sky, her throat dry and her mind fogged over. She pushed herself up onto her elbows, brows furrowed as she tried to recall where the various pieces of her uniform had gone. Beside her, covered only to her waist, Ginga was still asleep.

Well. She hadn't dreamed that part then.

Her gaze softened. Ginga was kind to all of those around her, never asking for anything in return, and had always supported Fate whether personally, or in the line of fire. Her determination to help the numbers that had decided to turn their lives around to help amend her own mistakes had always struck a chord with Fate, having been there herself many years ago. Maybe, maybe it was kind of appropriate that last night went the way it did. Ginga could understand her in ways others simply couldn't.

But it was getting late, and she was still holed up in the wrong end of the barracks. Someone was going to notice that she was missing eventually, and then the rumors really would fly. She dressed hurriedly, fumbling with buttons and biting back curses when she initially failed to locate one of her boots. Raking her fingers through her tangled mess of hair, she attempted to smooth out her appearance as much as she could without a mirror, and paused over the bed for one last moment.

Ginga really was beautiful, and it stung to know that the investigator cared for her so deeply. Fate swallowed hard, and leaned over for a fraction of a second, just enough to kiss Ginga on the cheek. "Thank you." she whispered, knowing the younger woman couldn't hear her.

Fate made it through the entire officer's building without anyone taking notice, and just as she was priding herself on her stealthy skills, Signum held open the front door for her from the outside with a mock flourish.

Fate could immediately feel her face heating up, and she jerked a thumb over her shoulder to indicate the hall behind her. "Ah. I was just on my way to…" Signum crossed her arms, and gave her an expectant look. The enforcer could feel the words die in her throat. She knew better. Signum knew better. Right now, the only thing she was going to accomplish was to make a complete ass out of herself.

The knight just shook her head. "Your jacket's all fucked up."

Fate winced at the harsh language, and dropped her gaze to the very cockeyed white buttons.

Oh.

"Idiot." Signum muttered under her breath as her nimble fingers readjusted the stiff fabric. "But I guess it doesn't matter what I think, as long as you feel better." She straightened Fate's collar now, raising a brow wordlessly at the hickey on her neck and adjusted the gold clasp at her throat. "Do you?"

"Feel better?" Fate questioned, feeling her cheeks darken. She let the silence drag on for a moment, turning the thought over in her head. It was a simple question, to be sure, but the answer seemed so terribly complicated. "Would it make me a bad person if I said yes?"

The knight smirked and ruffled the enforcer's bangs, much like she had when Fate had been much, much smaller. "No. Just stupid."

* * *

-Present-

"Well?" Nanoha questioned with a hopeful sigh, twirling on the pedestal in front of three floor length mirrors. "What about this one?"

Hayate sipped her coffee from her perch on the plush couch, her brows furrowed in thought. The white satin a-line bridal gown hugged her figure nicely, and as Nanoha spun in the mirrors and eyed herself critically, it became apparent what the problem was. It was pretty, sure, but Nanoha didn't seem to be enjoying herself. They had been here at the bridal shop for over three hours, and she knew this wasn't Nanoha's first visit. "I dunno." she answered honestly. "Maybe try another store?"

"This is so frustrating." The instructor grumbled.

"Maybe something with straps?" Hayate tried. "I mean, your tattoo is showing. I don't want your father to have a heart attack at the wedding. As entertaining as that would be, the paper work would be an absolute _nightmare_." she ignored the mock glare aimed in her direction and grinned.

Nanoha cast a glance towards the mirror reflected behind her, eyeing the tiny star on the back of her shoulder blade.

The winter after they had joined Riot 6, a night of drinking had resulted in a lost wager on Fate's part to Signum. An hour later, they had been standing in front of a tattoo parlor, buzzed and silly.

_The enforcer had proudly showed off the small lightning bolt on her hip with a ridiculously dopey grin while their friends laughed uproariously. Nanoha then slid off her jacket to reveal a star on her shoulder underneath the strap of her tank top with a flourish and a wink. _

"_Lightning and Stars?" Signum had muttered, the stoic mask cracking at the edges as she struggled to contain her laughter._

"_You never specified…" Fate drawled, "and Nanoha wanted in on it all by herself."_

"_That's what she said!" Hayate howled, holding up her hand for a high five to the vice-captain beside her._

_Vita regarded her and her hand with a raised eyebrow. "No."_

"_Signum?" the commander tried, whirling on her heels, puppy dog eyes in full effect._

_The knight rolled her eyes in response and high fived her rather delusional master. "This. This was a bad idea."_

"_Hey." Nanoha pouted. "I couldn't let Fate run off and do something stupid by herself. Besides, maybe I want to be the cool mom too."_

_Signum snorted._

"_Nanoha." Hayate replied evenly. "Tattoos do not equal cool. What are you gonna do when Vivio wants one?"_

_The instructor's jaw dropped. "I'm not cool?"_

"_Well…"_

_Signum scratched the back of her neck and turned her head._

"_I'm staying out of this." Vita huffed, crossing her arms._

"_Whatever. Doesn't matter what you guys think." Fate declared, obviously still giddy as she threw her arms around Nanoha's waist and lifted her a few inches off the ground. "She'll always be cool to me!"_

"_Aw, Fate-chan…"_

"_Oh God, get a room!" Hayate cried dramatically. "We're in public!" _

_The blonde laughed, and twirled her in lopsided circles on the sidewalk. Nanoha had laughed with her, winding her arms around Fate's neck and squeezing her eyes shut. Despite the cold temperatures, she had been so warm and…_

"You need to make up your mind."

Nanoha snapped back to the present. "W…what?"

Hayate gestured at the wedding dress. "You're running out of time. You need to decide."

"I probably should hide it…"she murmured quietly, blue eyes softening.

Hayate regarded her friend's reflection. "Well, keep looking." She yawned and stretched, rising to her feet and shaking off the pinpricks of numbness in her legs. "I need more coffee. And speaking of paperwork, we need to get back soon."

Nanoha nodded mutely, her eyes still on the tattoo. It had been so long ago, and they had been young and foolish. With all the technological advances, having it removed would be rather easy and painless. Easier than trying to hide it, anyway. She frowned as her thoughts wandered back to the blonde, and she wondered if Fate had hers removed.

Hayate shook her head, knowing exactly where her mind had drifted. "She still has hers."

Nanoha looked away guiltily and wondered if she was always this obvious. "That creeps me out when you do that."

Hayate shrugged.

"Maybe my mom can help me pick one out when she comes to visit."

The commander smirked at the sudden change in the conversation topic. "You could always ask Fate to help you."

The bride-to-be stepped off the pedestal, swallowing hard as she felt her heart flutter. "I don't think I could. That…seems like it would almost be cruel."

Hayate was taken aback. So maybe Nanoha knew more than she was letting on. Then again, it was rather hard to miss the lovesick look all over the enforcer's face whenever she was around. "Speaking of cruel…" she grumbled, thinking of the mountain of folders sprawled across her desk back at the office.

"Back to work." Nanoha huffed. "I know."

* * *

In retrospect, going back to work had been a terrible idea. The instructor could feel an intense headache settling behind her eyes, and the training plans she and Vita were going over seemed to become harder and harder to read. Finally irritated to the point where she was going to give herself a headache, Vita reached across the desk and flipped the manila folder closed.

"Take a break." she muttered gruffly. "Stretch your legs. Swing by the sick bay, maybe grab something for your head?"

"Ah," Nanoha sighed. "normally I'd argue but…"

"Door." Vita grumbled, gesturing with a nod. "It's over there. Use it."

The bright fluorescent lights in the hall certainly weren't helping, and as she rounded the corner to the infirmary, she was half tempted to find a dark closet somewhere and take a nap. It was already past seven, and she was at the point where she wanted nothing more than to just go home. Nanoha groaned aloud and wearily massaged her temples, because right now, home was host to its own set of problems. She had yet to talk to Yuuno about his display of jealousy towards Fate the other day, and she was still busy trying to wrestle with her own issues regarding the enforcer. She could only hope that by the time she finally could crawl back into bed and pass out, it would be without incident.

She entered the infirmary and offered a thin smile to Shamal, still seated behind her desk. "Late night?"

"Mm." the blonde hummed in reply, rolling the sleeves of her white med jacket up at the elbows. "I had to finish up a procedure, but she should be awake soon. In the meantime, what can I get for you?"

"Headache." Nanoha replied tiredly.

"Ah." the knight rose to her feet and moved to the cabinet behind her desk. "Tension?"

The instructor resisted the urge to laugh. "Something like that." Blue eyes wandered around the room while Shamal rummaged through cabinets, and a very familiar object near one of the private rooms caught her full attention. She recognized the faded leather jacket hanging on the coat hook of the door almost immediately, but it was the fact that Bardiche was nestled on top of a pile of clothing folded on the chair nearby that gave her some alarm.

"Here." Shamal murmured, suddenly appearing beside her and handing her two capsules.

Nanoha blinked in confusion, automatically accepting the medication though her eyes never left Bardiche. "I..Is Fate…"

"She's alright." the medic laughed. "She had a minor procedure done. She's a bit of a baby, so it took some harassing to get her down here."

The instructor didn't respond, and Shamal slid her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. She had heard that Nanoha and Fate had a bit of a falling out, and she wasn't sure how much she was allowed to say. However, the worry on the brunette's face was clearly evident, and it pained the knight to watch her friends suffer so needlessly. Fate might not be happy with her later, but…

"She fell through a domed ceiling, about two years ago." Shamal stated evenly. "At the time, we weren't sure what sort of material we were dealing with, and so we took out as many of the pieces as we could without getting invasive. As a result, some did get left behind. Every few months or so, bits of material still work their way up near the skin, and we sedate her and remove what we can."

Nanoha winced. "That sounds painful."

"Ah, the pieces are small, and you know how she gets around any medical equipment."

Nanoha fidgeted in place, chewing on her lower lip and eyeing the door. Shamal leaned over at the unspoken question and punched in the unlock code, stepping back to allow Nanoha entry.

"I have to warn you, she's…been through a lot." the medic said quietly. "So, try not to be too surprised."

"What do you mean?"

Shamal shook her head. "She has earned many badges of courage, and we'll leave it at that. Just be careful if you get too close. Sometimes she wakes up swinging." Nanoha laughed at that, having a hard time picturing Fate throwing a punch at _anyone_, but the look on Shamal's face stated that she wasn't kidding in the slightest.

Swallowing hard and ignoring the tiny whispers of trepidation, Nanoha slipped into the room, lurking in the overhang until the door slid shut behind her. Her headache forgotten, she made her way over to a small bed along the wall where Fate lay on her stomach, bare down to her waist. She was still unconscious from whatever sedative she had been given, and she could make out three freshly made incisions on the enforcer's back, already healing shut, but that wasn't what caught her eye.

Nanoha could only stand there, heart pounding hard as her stomach churned, clenching her fists tight. The scars. The sheer number of scars that littered once flawless skin made her chest ache. The biggest ran nearly the length of her ribcage on her left side, the skin having long since turned white. Over her shoulders and across her back lay many more, far too numerous to count, and she felt almost sick. What exactly had Fate been doing these past two years, besides obviously trying to get herself killed?

Fate murmured something in her slumber and Nanoha froze in place, suddenly recalling Shamal's earlier warning. But her features were still locked in the mask of sleep, and the brunette couldn't remember the last time she had been able to get this close without one of them saying something stupid. Aside from the scar at her temple, her face was unmarred by signs of battle, and Nanoha found herself taking a step forward.

She looked so peaceful, and for a moment, she almost looked like a child again, her hair mussed against the pillow. The ends of her bangs fell across her eyes, and without thinking, Nanoha leaned down and gently brushed them away. Eyelids fluttered in response to the movement, but didn't open, and she sucked in a breath. Were Fate's eyelashes always this long? Lips parted, and the enforcer's brow furrowed. She would be awake soon. The instructor felt her heartbeat quicken, and even as her fingertips traced the Y shaped mark on her temple, near the corner of her eye, she knew she should go. But this, this was the wound she had that night, and…

The door slid open once more behind her, and Nanoha jerked upright at the sound, but before she could withdraw her hand, there was a firm grip on her wrist, holding her steady and pulling her forward. Dark eyes opened and regarded the brunette curiously as Fate struggled to shake off her grogginess.

"Nanoha?" Fate's voice was rough, thick with sleep and confusion.

She felt her cheeks redden. "Fate-chan. I was, uh…"

The enforcer smiled softly, and the grip on Nanoha's wrist loosened. "I must be dead."

All words escaped the ace at that point, and she wasn't sure how long she would have stood there staring at her friend like she was seeing her for the first time, if it weren't for the voice behind her.

"Oh, I didn't know Fate had a visitor."

Nanoha cast a glance over her shoulder, and felt her heartbeat become even more erratic. Ginga. She seemed to be popping up everywhere lately. The instructor licked suddenly dry lips and struggled to find her voice, and the warm hand on her wrist reminded her that Fate had yet to let go. "I was uh, just checking up on her. I heard she was in here and…"

The investigator merely arched a brow. "Ah. I'm here to take her home."

Nanoha's brow furrowed. Whose home? Fate's? Ginga's? "I can take her home." she blurted out quickly, even as panic began to settle in her chest. What was she doing?

"It's no bother." Ginga replied smoothly. "I'm sure you want to get home to your family."

The brunette narrowed her eyes. Was…was that a jab?

Fate seemed to be waking up a bit more. The hand on her wrist finally let go, and the blonde pushed herself up on her elbows with a light shake of her head. "Ugh. Hate that stuff."

Nanoha turned her attention back to Fate, and the panic was replaced with a rush of nervousness. She wasn't sure how a totally alert Fate would react to her standing in the middle of the room, tripping out like a spazz, and having thinly veiled squabbles with her, what was Ginga anyway, girlfriend?

Russet eyes became more focused, and the corner of her mouth pulled up into a smirk. "What's with the welcoming committee?"

"They were arguing about who has the esteemed privilege of driving you home." Shamal stated bluntly, stepping between the two women and over to Fate's bedside. She flicked on a tiny flashlight, and observed the dilation of Fate's pupils despite the blonde's rapid blinking. "Looks like it's just about worn off." She inspected the incisions on her back, and satisfied with the progress, nodded briskly. "I'm turning you loose, although who you go home with is your problem entirety."

Both Nanoha and Ginga managed to look embarrassed.

"Look," Fate muttered. "I can take care of myself, it's no big deal."

"No." three voices replied in unison.

"Okay." The enforcer replied slowly. "Then can I at least get someone to hand me some clothes, and maybe some privacy?"

* * *

TBC

_Notes! – So uh, yeah, just gonna put this chapter here and… *flees*_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Used to be**_

Shamal all but shoved both Ginga and Nanoha out of her sick bay and back into the small portion of her office that served as a waiting room, biting the inside of her lip to hold back her laughter when she caught the almost pitiful expression her blonde patient wore. Despite having been freed from the Book of Darkness many years back, raw human emotions still had a tendency to absolutely confound and confuse her, and from the look on Fate's face, the knight certainly wasn't alone in that category. While she felt that she couldn't give any well-meaning advice or council, she could definitely give the poor enforcer some breathing space.

"Give her a moment, will you?" the medic hummed sweetly, leaving no room for argument.

Nanoha frowned inwardly, but anything she would have said was cut off by her angry vice-captain, slouched down and arms crossed in a plush chair alongside Shamal's desk, looking rather tired and irritated as she flicked her gaze up and down the brunette. "I see you've found my idiot."

The ace balked at that, the 'rival' at her side temporarily forgotten. "Hey!"

Vita caught sight of Ginga and arched a brow, lips quirking up into a smirk. "Oh, I get it now. The other idiot must be here too."

"Must be a late night for everyone." Shamal stated diplomatically, hoping to diffuse tempers before she developed a headache of her own. Her eyes caught Vita's and she gestured to Nanoha with a quick nod of her head. _'Perhaps you could…?'_

Vita snorted. _'You really think she'll listen to me? I'd probably have to knock her out to get her to leave.'_

'_Oh dear…'_

Oblivious to the silent conversation going on around them, the war was back on between the combat instructor and the investigator. "Nanoha," Ginga began pleasantly, "if you had some work to finish up, please feel free. I can take care of things here."

'_Bet she would.' _Vita mumbled in reply, pushing the thought out to her fellow guardian.

'_I could have done without that.' _Shamal all but groaned. '_It's bad enough I have to deal with Signum and Hayate when I get home.'_

'_You're welcome.'_

Nanoha stood fast, fixing Vita with an even look. "It's no problem. We were done anyway, right?"

The vice-captain blinked slowly, shifting her gaze between Nanoha and Shamal. The atmosphere was starting to feel rather tense, and she was beginning to see why Shamal had requested some assistance in removing Nanoha. "Uh…"

Shamal hid her smile. _'Go ahead and tell her no, Vita. I have an extra bed available…'_

'_Oh ha ha.'_

"So," The ace continued turning her attention back to Ginga and ignoring the knights. "I've got this one."

The corner of Ginga's mouth twitched. She really didn't like the idea of leaving Fate with Nanoha while she was in such a state, but she also knew that the ace was never one to back down. Despite her intentions to stay out of the whole ordeal, and let Fate sort things out for herself, it looked like this was something she was going to have to step in and handle after all. The polite smile faded as she crossed her arms, bright green eyes drilling into cobalt blue. While all of Subaru's stories of the fearsome instructor were not forgotten, Ginga chose to focus on the memory of the dark pain in Fate's eyes.

Meanwhile, Fate struggled to shrug away the remnants of sleep, squinting under the bright fluorescent lights as she reached for her shoes. The scent of sharp disinfectant and cleaners burned her nose and made her eyes water, and the sooner she could get out of here, the better. She hated clinics and doctors, not so much because of injuries associated with them, but because of the bad memories they seemed to stir up.

Through the door she could catch Nanoha's voice and Vita's muted replies, and she suppressed a groan, burying her face in her hands. This had surely been an unexpected development, and yet another mess to straighten out. Ginga had been nice enough to offer to take her home when she had caught wind of Fate's procedure, and suddenly here was Nanoha, pushing forward and in with her usual direct approach…

Fate sighed, pressing her hands over her eyes. She could handle this if she was just a little more awake, and yesterday's events were still fresh in her mind. Her whole plan had been to come home and remain under the radar until she could receive approval to deploy once more, but that seemed to be derailing rather quickly. In her efforts to patch up her friendship with Nanoha, she found that an all too familiar ache was settling in her chest once more. It had been so, so easy to slip back into old habits, and even after all that had happened, she found it hard to deny the instructor anything she asked for, and…

Nanoha's arms had been so warm…

She swallowed hard against the knot in her throat with a quick shake of her head. A promise not to vanish in the middle of the night wasn't asking too much, was it?

Fate picked up Bardiche and ran her fingertips over the cool metal surface, the familiar weight and shape of the device providing a sense of comfort.

"It was so much easier when it was just you and me, yeah?"

"_Sir."_

She allowed herself a tiny grin and slid Bardiche back into her pocket before pushing her hands through her bangs and letting out a heavy puff of air. She supposed she had stalled long enough.

From beyond the door she could hear Nanoha, a bit louder now, and sounding rather irritated. For the life of her though, she couldn't figure out Nanoha's bout of jealousy, or why she had gotten so angry about Ginga. As it stood, Fate didn't owe anyone anything, and it shouldn't matter who she decided to spend her free time with. And the situation with Ginga? That was just another set of problems to deal with on top of everything else. She meant well, and Fate knew that, but she couldn't help but feel that maybe there were still some unresolved feelings there. Quick hands pulled shoelaces tight and she paused for a moment, adjusting well-worn sneakers. Fate was all too familiar with being teased for being a little slow when it came to picking up on certain things, but at this point, even she could tell something was awry.

So much for laying low.

Her cheeks heated up with the memory of their last mission together and she caught her lower lip between her teeth, brows creased.

All things considered, would being with Ginga be such a terrible thing? She was certainly easy to be around, and she understood Fate in a way very few people did. Fate had never really given much thought to relationships of any sort, having spent the bulk of her life around Nanoha and Vivio, and she was still surprised by the way these things seem to just 'happen'.

Her head swam woozily and she grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment until the feeling passed. Too much thinking, and that was never a good thing.

Steeling her gut and slipping on a mask of confidence she certainly didn't feel, she rose to her feet wearily. There were other matters to attend to now, and judging by the deathly silence in Shamal's office on the other side of the door, she had better get a move on.

As the door slid open behind Ginga, Fate found herself locked in place by two very different pairs of eyes. She flickered her gaze back and forth between the two women, choosing to pointedly ignore the smirk Vita was sporting. Before she could utter a word, her former partner moved first, looping an arm through hers and flashing a dazzling smile, the gesture leaving no room for debate.

"How are you feeling?"

Fate licked suddenly dry lips, worried russet eyes refusing to meet Nanoha's across the room. "Uh…just a little tired."

The brunette felt her hands ball into fists, not comfortable with the way her heart lurched down into her stomach, but the smile she plastered across her features hid it well as she struggled to find her voice. "I'm glad you're okay, Fate-chan."

Fate shifted in place, looking as awkward as Nanoha felt. "I'm sorry to make everyone worry, but it was really no big deal…"

"It's alright. How about we just get you into bed?" Ginga replied sweetly.

The blonde felt herself nodding in agreement, her cheeks dusted a light shade of pink. This was certainly not going the way she thought it would, and for that, she was almost thankful. The fewer decisions she had to make right now, the better. Black and white was much more preferable to this mess of grey her life had become since she returned home, and as she passed Nanoha on the way out, she didn't like the feeling in her chest when she at last met stormy blue eyes. She hated this feeling, and she hated the way she was no longer comfortable around the person who had once been closest to her.

The instructor could only watch her go, jaw clenched as the door slid shut behind them. Vita grunted, rising to her feet stretching her arms over her head, cracking her knuckles with a yawn. Well, that had been…interesting.

Nanoha tipped her head back and let out a weary sigh.

"I'm…I'm being childish, aren't I?"

Vita cast a sideways glace to Shamal for assistance, who only shook her head sadly in response.

"These things are difficult." Vita replied gruffly. "Can't expect everything to be back to normal overnight."

Nanoha chuckled humorlessly. "No, I guess not." She swallowed thickly, desperately trying to blink away the sting in her eyes. "Do you know what bothers me the most?"

"Pretty sure I could make a good guess." Vita muttered, earning a poke to the ribs courtesy of the medic beside her.

If the ace heard her, she ignored it. "We used to be so close. I feel like I've been replaced."

The vice captain sighed, crossing her arms. "And I'm sure she probably feels the same."

Nanoha closed her eyes, the all too familiar image of the look on Fate's face that night burned into her memory. Ever since then, all she had wanted was to return to simpler times, back to the way things used to be, before all this pain and confusion, back to when she could look Fate in the eyes and not feel like there was a huge wound in her chest, sucking the air out of her lungs and twisting her stomach into a thousand knots. "I…I think I already knew that."

Vita frowned. This, this wouldn't do at all. The redhead regarded her friend with sympathetic eyes, silent for the briefest of moments, before a wide grin spread across her features. "I will say this though, for about a minute there, I think I saw the old Nanoha."

The brunette turned to her at last, thoroughly confused. "What do you mean?"

"Come on," Vita laughed, "you know exactly what I mean. Your epic stare down with Ginga."

Nanoha blinked. "My what?"

The vice-captain smirked. "Now don't stand there and tell me you didn't think about giving her a Starlight Breaker, even if it was for just a second."

The brunette met her eyes and held a poker face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Vita arched a brow. "Really now?"

"Really."

The comrades were silent for a moment, Nanoha remaining straight faced and Vita staring straight back before the ace cracked, her stern features melting into a smile as her shoulders shook with quiet laughter. "Maybe." She pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes sparkling with mirth. "Oh God, don't ever tell anyone about this."

"Secrets safe with me." Vita promised solemnly. "Just let the old Nanoha out once in a while. I haven't seen her in a few years, and she's much more fun to be around."

Nanoha laughed, dropping to her knees and pulling Vita into a tight hug. "Thank you."

"All right, all right, just let go already." The redhead grumbled, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "That wasn't an invitation to get touchy."

Shamal laughed quietly, circling around behind her desk. "If you two are quite finished, I'd like to go home sometime this evening."

Nanoha rose to her feet with a nod. "Sorry for causing so much trouble."

The medic shook her head. "Speaking of trouble, it looks like something was left behind…" From under her desk she produced Fate's leather jacket, and handed the garment over to Nanoha. "Perhaps you could drop it off for her?"

Nanoha eyed Shamal suspiciously. "Wasn't this with the rest of her things?"

"Oh my, wasn't it?" the blonde replied innocently. "How did it end up under there?"

Vita snorted under her breath. "And you're supposed to be the honest one."

Shamal waved her off. "These things happen."

Nanoha traced her fingertips over the worn leather, her heart warming at the memory of giving it to Fate for Christmas many years back. Vivio had helped her pick it out and wrapped it herself, handing the lumpy misshapen package to the enforcer with pride in her eyes. The blonde had fawned over the wrapping paper and rather squashed bow as though it had been packaged by tiny elves themselves, although the paper had been torn in numerous places and Vivio had gotten a little excited with the tape.

Her daughter had giggled with joy as Fate made a great show of unwrapping the gift as slowly as possible, until Vivio could stand it no longer and assisted with tearing through the paper. Warm russet eyes lit up as she shrugged the jacket on with a little twirl, scooping Vivio up in one arm and proclaiming it to be perfect in every way. Nanoha was next, as Fate's free arm wound around her waist and tugged her into the hug, the scent of new leather and hot chocolate hanging in the air. Fate's voice was soft and warm, her cheek pressed into Nanoha's hair…

Her chest tightened. "Thank you, Shamal."

* * *

By the time Nanoha returned home that evening, it was late, far later than she would have liked anyway. She stifled a yawn as she guided her modest family car into her parking spot, wincing when she noticed the glow of the bedroom lights on the second floor. Yuuno must have waited up for her. After a fierce internal debate, Nanoha had decided to return Fate's jacket in the morning before her scheduled class, and even now, she couldn't help but wonder what the enforcer was doing as she sat in the darkened driveway. The jacket still lay on the passenger seat beside her, and she knew that just bringing it into the house would open the door to all sorts of grief, something that she really didn't have the energy for today. She pulled it into her lap, fingertips absently worrying at the cuff of a sleeve.

Oh well.

She leaned back in the driver's seat, allowing her gaze to wander up to the clear night sky overhead. The stars twinkled brightly, and although there was no moon, visibility was perfect. It would have been the ideal night to fly.

Nanoha was struck by another pang of nostalgia, and if she closed her eyes, she could almost swear that she was ten again, waiting for Fate to sneak over to her house in the dead of night. Fate always had this sixth sense when it came to her feelings, and whenever Nanoha had been down, or lonely, she knew she could expect a visit. She would sit in bed, eyes wide, heart racing, waiting for that timid knock on her window. Fate would grin, holding out an open hand for Nanoha to take, the edges of her dark cloak tickling against her bare legs as the young brunette clambered through the window sill to join her. Their paths would be aimless, blazing trails of pink and gold over the sleeping city below.

They used to own the sky.

The minutes ticked by, and the light upstairs still burned brightly, reminding her that things were not so simple anymore.

* * *

Nanoha did her best to slip into the house as silently as possible, on the off chance that Yuuno would have fallen asleep, the jacket clutched to her chest. Weaving her way through the darkened living room and around the corner, a sing-song voice rang out from the dining room.

"Oh, somebody's in trouble."

The ace furrowed her brows, following the sound and heaving a sigh when she spied Vivio leaning over the kitchen counter on her elbows, a rather large dish of ice cream in front of her.

"Yeah, and it's going to be you. Shouldn't you be in bed?" Nanoha grumbled, all attempts at stealth abandoned.

Bright eyes blinked up at her impishly. "I was hungry."

Her mother frowned. "It's a school night."

"Same to you."

"It's different." Nanoha replied easily enough, laying the jacket across the counter beside Vivio and removing the spoon from her hand. "I'm an adult."

"And I'm pretty close to that." Vivio pouted as Nanoha stole a bite of ice cream. "Hey, get your own!"

The ace winked. "But this tastes so much better."

"Seriously?" Vivio grumbled, pulling open a drawer to retrieve a second spoon.

"I thought I taught you how to share."

"I'm sharing, I'm sharing."

They ate in comfortable silence for a moment before the sound of footsteps from the floor above caused two sets of eyes to flicker up towards the ceiling.

Nanoha sighed. "On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?"

Vivio laughed at that. "Ten being the worst?"

Nanoha nodded in the affirmative around a spoonful of chocolate.

"Eight."

"Eight? Really?"

Vivio arched a brow. "The rings. You were supposed to go with him to get them sized today."

The brunette groaned aloud, covering her face with the palm of her hand. "I completely forgot."

"He's sensitive, like a girl." Her daughter sniffed. "He's going to be all broken up about this."

"Vivio…" Nanoha chided gently.

"What? It's true."

Well. She couldn't really argue with that.

"So." The blonde started with a grin. "Scale of one to ten. How much trouble am _I _in?"

"Ten if you don't get to bed."

"Yeah yeah." she muttered, taking the now empty bowl and depositing it in the sink. Her eyes spied the leather jacket on the counter and lit up in recognition. "Hey, isn't that…"

Nanoha nodded. "Fate left it in the sick bay."

Vivio picked it up, smoothing out the fold lines. "I can't believe she still has it after all this time."

"You know your Fate-mama." Nanoha replied warmly as Vivio slipped it on, the long sleeves flopping over her hands. Fate was much taller, and the way the jacket hung off of her petite frame almost made Vivio look like a little girl again, sneaking into their closets to play dress up. She smiled fondly, knowing it was something she could never say to her out loud. "She hates change."

"Wow." The teenager remarked, eyes wide. "I can't remember the last time you called her that."

Nanoha frowned inwardly at the comment, watching as her daughter fussed with the collar and began to rifle through the pockets.

"Maybe we should get her a new one, because then she…" Vivio trailed off as she fished out what looked to be a scrap of paper from the inside pocket.

"What is it?" Nanoha questioned, stepping around the counter and peering over her daughter's shoulder. "Oh…" she murmured softly, recognizing the photograph in Vivio's hands instantly. It was an image of Nanoha and Vivio, the very first photo taken of the two of them together in fact, and she hadn't seen it for a very long time.

"Mom?"

"Ah." Nanoha swallowed the lump in her throat. "You were five, and this was our first picture. It used to sit on Fate's desk when we worked in Riot 6." They had been playing together outside, or rather, it was more like Vivio was tearing around the base while a ragged Fate and Nanoha struggled to keep up. Nanoha had finally caught up to her and scooped her up quickly, holding her close. Just looking at it was enough to make the brunette feel far older than her years, and the photo reflected it's age. It looked battered, to be sure, lined with creases and bent at all the corners.

Vivio flipped it over, squinting in the dim light. "There's a bunch of writing on the back." the blonde murmured, handing it over. "It looks like, planets?"

Nanoha scanned over the small, cramped writing, recognizing the names almost instantly. "Her missions." she breathed, right down to the last planet she had been on before she had come home just a few days back. There had to be at least a hundred names, maybe more. She handed it back, and pointed to the first name on the list. "This was her first deployment after Riot 6 had broken up. And this…" she said, trailing her finger down five lines, "this was the first mission she and I had together after I adopted you. Do you remember? You stayed with Grandma and Grandpa…"

Vivio nodded. "And the rest?"

Nanoha shook her head. "We had a few more together, after that. But for the rest, she was alone."

"There are so many." Vivio murmured, her voice cracking. "It always felt like she was gone for so long."

"She was," her mother agreed, "but she was doing something she loved, and she has helped so many people."

The hands holding the photograph clenched tight. "I wonder if she was ever scared."

"Fate?" Nanoha smiled, an image of Fate throwing herself headlong into fierce battles without so much as a backwards glance immediately springing to mind. "No. I don't think I've ever seen her scared of anything."

"It…it had to be lonely though."

Nanoha slipped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the crown of her head, using her free hand to brush away a stray lock of hair. "And that's why we always waited for her, so she had a loving home to return to."

Vivio's eyes swam with tears, and Nanoha stiffened when she saw tiny drops spatter across the photo. "Until Yuuno…"

The ace sucked in a breath, her heart seizing up in her chest.

"But we were still there." Vivio whispered. "Even after that. She still took us on every mission…"

"Oh, honey." The ace sighed, wrapping her daughter up in a tight hug, quiet sniffles in her ear.

Vivio held her tight, burrowing her face into Nanoha's shoulder, her voice muffled by the stiff fabric of her instructor's jacket. "I miss her so much sometimes."

Nanoha stroked her hair, though the action seemed to do little to comfort her. "Me too, sweetie. Me too."

Once assured that Vivio was in bed, Nanoha made her way to her own bedroom, not liking the heavy feeling of guilt settling in her belly. As expected, her fiancé had waited up for her, seated on the end of the bed, elbows propped up on his knees.

"Long night?" he asked quietly, though his lips were drawn into a taunt line.

"I'm sorry." Nanoha began quickly, brows furrowed. She had been dreading this, and after her conversation in the kitchen, she was already feeling emotionally drained. "I started going over the new training plans with Vita, and one thing led to another, and…"

"I figured you forgot."

The ace winced. "I didn't mean…"

"Hey." Yuuno cut her off, hurt evident in his tone. "Let's just go to bed, yeah? We can fight about it tomorrow."

Nanoha felt her hands ball into fists. "If you've got something you'd like to say…"

"How about you?" he replied evenly, green eyes peering up at her through a thick curtain of blonde bangs. "Got anything you'd like to tell me?"

She froze on the spot, her heart hammering in her chest as she swallowed thickly. She opened her mouth uselessly, willing the words to come. Hell, any words at all at this point, but her body betrayed her. This was too much, too fast, and if she could just get some sleep…

She watched the man she had known almost all her life rise to his feet wearily, his dark eyes reflecting something Nanoha had become almost all too familiar with. "I guess that says it all."

"Wait." She tried again, with a shake of head. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. There's just been so much going on, and we have all the new cadets coming in, and there is still so much I have to do before next month, and…"

"Are you sure?" Yuuno asked quietly, his tone doubtful.

"Sure?" she echoed back. "Sure about what?"

He took her left hand in his, and slipped a cool ring over her finger. "This."

She held her hand out in the dim light, the glint of gold that had not been there moments before reflecting back at her. Her head spun dizzily under both his stare and the almost heavy weight of the wedding band on her ring finger, and for a moment, for a fleeting, impossibly wild moment, she considered leaping out the window and into the night air. But there was no quiet knock on the pane. No warm hand waiting on the other side to lead her off on a tour of glowing lights and sleepy sunrises. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, counting to ten in her head.

She only got to four before there were lips on hers, and by the time she got to nine, she felt herself being guided down onto the bed.

For the first time in a long time, her sleep was dreamless.

* * *

Fate was awakened early the next morning by an almost frantic pounding on her door. Fumbling her way out of bed and holding back muttered curses as she tripped over herself with sleep-numbed legs, the enforcer slipped on a pair of glasses and shoved a hand through unruly, rumpled hair.

"This had better be good." she mumbled half-heartedly, eyes still bleary and unfocused. She had barely had a chance to flip the lock before her door was thrown open and she was almost bowled over by a rowdy teenage girl. Arms were around her waist in a death grip and she staggered on her feet, patting the top of a very familiar mop of blonde hair.

"Uh, good morning?" Fate tried, still confused, her voice thick with sleep. "Everything alright?"

"I love you, Fate-mama." Vivio declared, the arms around her tightening even more.

"I love you too." Fate replied, returning the hug when she caught sight of a sheepish looking Nanoha lurking in the doorway. "…am I missing something?"

Nanoha laughed, scratching the back of her neck. "Well, we were on the way to school, and she insisted on seeing you, so…uh, I hope you don't mind."

The blonde smiled down at Vivio affectionately. "Of course I don't mind. I just wish I had known you were coming. I would have made coffee, or tea, or _something._"

Vivio pulled back, arching a brow at the enforcer. "Now, we both know you have no food here."

"Hey, hey." Fate cut her off, ruffling her bangs. "Don't spread such wild rumors."

"It's true. Last time I was here we had to get take out and…"

"Watch it kid."

"Anyway," Vivio started, taking the jacket draped over Nanoha's arm. "we just wanted to make sure you got this back."

Fate's eyes lit up as Vivio handed her the garment. "My jacket! I was worried sick about it last night!"

"You uh, left it in the sick bay…" Nanoha said. "Shamal wanted to be sure it didn't get lost in the shuffle."

"Thank you." Fate replied warmly, returning it to its proper hook near the door. "It's kind of my good luck charm. I'd be lost without it."

"Good luck charm?" Vivio questioned innocently, casting a sideways glance at Nanoha, who seemed to be turning rather red.

Fate nodded. "Goes with me on every mission."

"Ah, Vivio." Nanoha coughed, trying to shake off her very flustered feeling. "We're going to be late."

"Mom," the teenager pleaded, eyes wide. "don't you think I could skip? Just this one day?"

"No." Fate and Nanoha echoed in unison.

"But…"

"_No._"

"After school." Fate offered. "I'll come pick you up. We can go do whatever you like, if it's alright with your Nanoha-mama."

"It's fine." The brunette laughed at the pout casted her way. "Just move your butt."

"Fine fine."

Fate crossed her arms, sporting a bemused expression. "Good girl."

Vivio made her way out the door, followed by Nanoha. But before Fate could close it behind them, the ace spun on her heels, catching the door halfway. "Fate-chan."

Russet eyes blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Nanoha raised a brow. "Do you really have no food?"

The blonde felt a blush spring to her cheeks. "What? Of course I have food."

Blue eyes narrowed. "Really?"

"Really."

"Do I have to come in there and check?"

The enforcer was taken aback. "No!"

"Fate-chan, take-out boxes don't count."

Fate shifted in place nervously. "Look, I'm not home much. It doesn't make sense to stock up if it's just going to go bad."

"Here's the deal." Nanoha stated firmly. "I'm going to drop Vivio off, and you're going to get dressed. I'm going to come back, and we _are _going to go get you some proper food supplies."

"But, I…"

Nanoha fixed her with a firm look. "Do I have to call Lindy?"

Fate's jaw dropped. "…you _wouldn't._"

"I would."

"She would." Vivio whispered.

"Not helping." Fate grumbled.

"Deal?"

Fate shook her head. What the hell was going on? One minute, she was sleeping so peacefully, and the next…

"Good." Nanoha declared.

"Wait." Vivio cried. "You can skip work, but I can't skip school?"

"Adult." Nanoha reminded her.

"That's not going to work in two years." Vivio retorted.

"This is true," Nanoha replied. "but for the next two years, you are _mine._"

"Can you believe her?" Vivio grumbled to Fate.

Fate wasn't sure how to answer that, and as quickly as they had come, they were gone, leaving a bewildered enforcer in their wake. She blinked slowly, alone again in her living room, still in her pajamas, and feeling like she had just hallucinated the last five minutes.

"…the hell just _happened?_"

* * *

_AN: Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, but I was away from home for quite a bit there. I have to travel a lot for work, and most of this chapter was cobbled together in different hotel rooms. Hopefully the next bit won't take as long. -_-_

_I'm glad to see that everyone is enjoying this so far. It's fun to read all the reviews and the PMs I get when I find myself in some strange city halfway across the country. Seriously, y'all are awesome!_

…_you know what else is awesome? Nanoha getting back to her old fiery self. XD_

_And on a completely unrelated note, I put on an episode of StrikerS, specifically to watch the opening, because some corner of my foggy little brain remembered Fate putting some photographs on her desk. Right after she does this, Signum just kinda stands around and stares at her. I rewound, and watched it three more times to be sure. And then my brain was all, 'HEY, do you know what would be fun? Signum/Fate!'_

_/facepalm_

_So yeah, if a story like that pops up under my name in the future, I'M SORRY._


End file.
